God in the center of our relationships

Posts tagged ‘affection’

Is PDA (Public Display of Affection) ok?

One night, while seating comfortably in my seat in a public car on my way to see a friend, a couple all of a sudden started kissing and hugging each other in a very uncomfortable way which has been disturbing with the rest of the passenger of that car. I started praying and thought of writing this blog.

Please don’t get me wrong, I think PDA is NOT totally wrong but NOT totally right. Teachers and coaches sometimes used this term to inform students that they were getting too cozy with their girlfriend or boyfriend. Some couples are more affectionate than others. They feel that they display their love for one another by holding hands and touching. Other married couples feel that they can get cozy in the privacy of their homes without having to do so in public. They prefer to keep their affections at a more private level.

Ayi and I would always grin at each other whenever we see couples draped across one another in restaurants, driving down the road, in parks, and shopping centers we guard our hearts from pride or think we are holier because we don’t do what they do.

I’m sure we have all probably been in a situation when we are in a public location and two adults soon catch our eye. These adults are caught in the mist of a very passion kiss or with wandering hands that the public should not be allowed to see. A lot of them might be unaware or ignorant that when it’s done some people to feel uncomfortable.

I once asked Ayi, Should public locations be allowed to ask couples to leave due to an OVER display of public affection?
I like how a friend of mine described it “Public displays of affection can be inappropriate depending on where you are and how far you go with it.”

Here’s from a blog I read,  “Basically, the point I am trying to get across is that PDA-ing is not always okay. In fact, if more couples actually paid attention to how others react to their displays of affection, they would notice that many people become exasperated or look down upon them because of it.”

“You don’t have to be climbing all over each other or putting on some kind of a sex show to prove you appreciate your partner, being comfortable enough to stroll down Grafton Street hand-in-hand is a better indicator that your relationship is solid.” says Anne Sexton.

I know of a couple who never even hold hands when in public, but very expressive with their affection in other ways (words, service, time and gifts). Should we “cookie-cut” it with every relationship? Do Ayi and I PDA? Yes, for us “HHWW” or “Holding hands while walking” is ok. We make it a goal not to make the people around us uncomfortable.

We remind each other “Everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial.” There’s a time for everything. If your a MARRIED couple,  It’s our goal as a couple to make people comfortable whenever we’re around.

“…But set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity.”- 1 Timothy 4:12We want to here from you? What do you think about P.D.A?

*Please note that this post is for couples in a relationship.

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In love forever?

by Christian Ongtangco

Everybody is asking?

“Is it even possible, for two people to be in love and stay happy together forever?”

In spite of what you the many couples breaking here and there, maybe you have experienced ending up a relationship with someone else but still there’s something in you, in me (us) that thinks its possible.. You think and I also think it possible to happen to us. Maybe someday, someway it could happen.

Yes we got friends, best friends, mothers, fathers,  batch mates, church mates, acquaintances but there’s  still this desire for us to love or be loved with someone romantically and intimately. This I believe is God’s design.

There’s still this desire in our heart looking for somebody whom we can be intimate with and love forever. But another we asks ourselves is “Will it happen? I think it could, but the probability , I’m not sure.

Here’s what it takes to be emotionally equipped before one enter into a long –term relationship,

You need to grow up in a home/environment where you get respect, encouragement, comfort, security , support, acceptance , approval , appreciation, attention , affection .

Can you relate? If you said “no’, welcome to the club. If that’s what it takes, what are the odds for us to love and get into marriage and live happily ever after?

Now that we fall-in-love with someone, we find ourselves asking “Is he/she going to give me respect, encouragement, comfort, security, support, acceptance, approval, appreciation, attention , affection ?

If that person didn’t receive all of that chances are that person will try to demand and expect those things from that person whom they choose to fall-in-love with.

Here’s the truth, most of us didn’t grew up in a family or in an environment where we have all of those things mentioned.  So we try to say “You complete me!”  and expect the other person to complete what we’ve been missing where in the first place that person is incomplete too.

Incomplete man + Incomplete woman = Incomplete Marriage

Here’s the truth, no one can make you feel complete apart from Christ.

It’s either we get frustrated in trying suck the life out of our partner and end up annoyed and dissatisfied (probable reason a lots of relationships don’t last long).  For some they try to choose and select, try to find the “right’ person for us. But learning to be the “right” person is something we seldom think about.

Here’s what I’ve got from my pastor,  “ Only Christ can complete us, no one else.” Not even the cutest guy/girl, richest, famous, most intelligent person can satisfy the deep longing we’re trying to find in romance. We wouldn’t know “Real love” and express or give it unless we ourselves haven’t experienced or received it from Christ Jesus.

Colossians 2:10 says “and God has made you complete in Christ. Christ is in charge of every ruler and authority.(God’s word translation).

We can’t be complete in Christ unless we have a right relationship with Christ Jesus our Lord and saviour.

So let me go back with my question “Is it even possible, for two people to be in love and stay happy together forever? My answer is Yes and No.

No, if it’s just the two of them, they will just try to suck the life out of each other from a limited and imperfect person who can’t and will never be able to complete and satisfy us.

Yes, if the Lord Jesus Christ is WITH them. He is IN their relationship. If He is the source we will can give, and never ran out of something to give. For He is limitless, He will never ran out of things we need, in Him we are complete, In Him we can find all that we’re looking for.

Love becomes not just a noun but a verb. It not self-seeking, it’s focuses more on giving than receiving, of serving not just being served. The other person becomes the priority.

Let me share our favorite verse found in Ecclesiastes 4:12 and it’s my prayer for you and your partner

” Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. “ With Jesus in the center of our relationship nothing can go against us.

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