God in the center of our relationships

Posts tagged ‘respect’

4 ways a man disrespects his woman

Here are 4 ways a man disrespects his woman;

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criticizing the way she keeps house
flirtijng with other women
commenting on the beauty of other women
not valling her when he’s going to be late.

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4 ways a woman disrepects her man

The following are 4 ways woman disrepects her man;

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critizing his provision
fixing something he has already fixed
flirting with other men
fantasizing over celebrity men

What Does It Mean to Respect Your Husband?

by: Grace Driscoll
“. . . let the wife see that she respects her husband.” Ephesians 5:33

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In order to obtain oneness and worship our Lord with our marriages, as women and wives we need to correctly understand the need for respect. Respect is to notice, regard, honor, prefer, defer to, encourage, love, and admire. Men and women were created with equal worth but different roles. Though men are not exempt from respecting their wives, God created the woman to help (Genesis 2:18) and respect her husband (Ephesians 5:33).

Women are prone to ask other women what methods they use as respectful helpers, or to read books such as Real Marriage seeking to be told what to do. What follows are some of the lessons I’ve learned from the mistakes I’ve made over the years. My prayer is that it encourages you to be the respectful wife that God has created you to be.

Heads of Respect
Respect starts in our heads, and includes our mind and thoughts. Disrespect also starts in our heads and can over time affect our hearts and hands.

Disrespect starts when we think things like: That was a dumb decision he made, I can do better than that. I wish he were more like _____, or, I’ll just fix all the things he does wrong. I hope the kids don’t grow up to be like him. When he is out of town life is easier. I won’t ask him because he won’t understand. If you are thinking this way toward your husband and let it continue, it will seep into your heart and eventually come out in your words and actions toward your husband.

Confess your sin of disrespecting authority to God and your husband, and be willing to listen to the Holy Spirit’s conviction for change.

Begin developing new habits of biblical thinking by being thankful for your husband’s gifts and strengths, rather than being bitter about his weaknesses and shortcomings. I encourage you to take time to observe your husband closely and even start a journal or make a list of things you appreciate about him.

Hearts of Respect
If our hearts are working toward respect, our mouths will follow, because “out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks” (Matthew 12:34). Do you tend to respond to your husband with criticism or with silence?

When you talk about him in public or with others do you tear him down or build him up? Are you careful not to gossip about him, or do you freely share your issues with others? Are you a wife who criticizes, contradicts, or sneers at your husband? Do you “joke” about his lack of abilities or his way of doing things? Do you cut him down in front of the kids?

Also, it’s important to remember that we don’t change our husbands—the Holy Spirit does! Use your words to pray for and help him instead of belittling him. Use your words to pray for yourself that you would practice self-control (Ephesians 4:29). Sometimes we don’t even hear ourselves, because our words can be subtle disrespect, so we might need others whom we trust to help us assess our hearts and mouths.

Hands of Respect
God created women to be helpers, which is a reflection of his character. God said, “It is not good that man should be alone,” so he created a helper for Adam (Genesis 2:18). It’s important to note that the word “helper” does not denigrate the wife; in fact, God is also referred to as our helper (Psalm 10:14; 118:6-7; Hebrews 13:6).

As a helper, a wife is called to become a companion in her husband’s God-given calling. This is what 1 Corinthians 11:7–9 means. Upon marriage, a woman’s life changes as she joins her husband in his life’s course.

Hands That Pray

Prayer softens our hearts and our husband’s hearts. If you only pray for him to change, then you won’t see your own sin too. Prayer reminds us of our total dependence upon God.

When I pray for Mark, he feels respected and loved. I look at his calendar for the day and pray for teaching sessions, meetings, appointments, safety, wisdom, and other things God brings to mind. We also enjoy prayers of thankfulness together when we see God’s grace in our lives. When Mark is sad, upset, stressed, or discouraged, I offer to pray out loud with him.

Hands That Touch
Physical affection is key to intimacy. If your husband enjoys touch, you probably can’t go overboard on this one. If your husband is more reserved, you can still express comfort through holding hands, neck rubs, and meaningful kisses.

Sex for the purpose of oneness usually doesn’t just “happen” at the end of a long day without working toward it throughout the day. Don’t get into a habit of only touching him when he is leaving the house once a day. Rather, learn to enjoy playfulness that leads to deeper intimacy and sex. Try meeting him for lunch appointments when possible. Instead of demands when he arrives home from work, greet him at the door with a hug or kiss. Text him during the day to let him know you are thinking about him.

Hands That Feed

Take time to plan a menu for the week (or month) so you aren’t throwing unhealthy things together for dinner or tempted to always eat out. Your husband will have more mental, physical, and emotional energy if he is not eating simple carbs and sugar all day.

Hands That Hunt and Fish
Be unselfish. Mark loves baseball, so I have attended many games and learned how baseball works. He also loves to study the culture by watching some of the popular TV shows, so I watch shows with him that wouldn’t be my first choice. The point is to do activities that your husband likes to do and have fun with it, not be disgruntled.

Hands That Open the Bible
Grow your relationship with Jesus. If you aren’t getting fed through Bible reading, prayer, and personal repentance, then it will be impossible to know how to serve and respect your husband.

Since respect is a command, God doesn’t leave us clueless and unable: he will give us the wisdom and strength to carry it out. We have to stay connected to Jesus in order to keep our husbands a priority over tasks, kids, other people, and the pull of culture.

In love forever?

by Christian Ongtangco

Everybody is asking?

“Is it even possible, for two people to be in love and stay happy together forever?”

In spite of what you the many couples breaking here and there, maybe you have experienced ending up a relationship with someone else but still there’s something in you, in me (us) that thinks its possible.. You think and I also think it possible to happen to us. Maybe someday, someway it could happen.

Yes we got friends, best friends, mothers, fathers,  batch mates, church mates, acquaintances but there’s  still this desire for us to love or be loved with someone romantically and intimately. This I believe is God’s design.

There’s still this desire in our heart looking for somebody whom we can be intimate with and love forever. But another we asks ourselves is “Will it happen? I think it could, but the probability , I’m not sure.

Here’s what it takes to be emotionally equipped before one enter into a long –term relationship,

You need to grow up in a home/environment where you get respect, encouragement, comfort, security , support, acceptance , approval , appreciation, attention , affection .

Can you relate? If you said “no’, welcome to the club. If that’s what it takes, what are the odds for us to love and get into marriage and live happily ever after?

Now that we fall-in-love with someone, we find ourselves asking “Is he/she going to give me respect, encouragement, comfort, security, support, acceptance, approval, appreciation, attention , affection ?

If that person didn’t receive all of that chances are that person will try to demand and expect those things from that person whom they choose to fall-in-love with.

Here’s the truth, most of us didn’t grew up in a family or in an environment where we have all of those things mentioned.  So we try to say “You complete me!”  and expect the other person to complete what we’ve been missing where in the first place that person is incomplete too.

Incomplete man + Incomplete woman = Incomplete Marriage

Here’s the truth, no one can make you feel complete apart from Christ.

It’s either we get frustrated in trying suck the life out of our partner and end up annoyed and dissatisfied (probable reason a lots of relationships don’t last long).  For some they try to choose and select, try to find the “right’ person for us. But learning to be the “right” person is something we seldom think about.

Here’s what I’ve got from my pastor,  “ Only Christ can complete us, no one else.” Not even the cutest guy/girl, richest, famous, most intelligent person can satisfy the deep longing we’re trying to find in romance. We wouldn’t know “Real love” and express or give it unless we ourselves haven’t experienced or received it from Christ Jesus.

Colossians 2:10 says “and God has made you complete in Christ. Christ is in charge of every ruler and authority.(God’s word translation).

We can’t be complete in Christ unless we have a right relationship with Christ Jesus our Lord and saviour.

So let me go back with my question “Is it even possible, for two people to be in love and stay happy together forever? My answer is Yes and No.

No, if it’s just the two of them, they will just try to suck the life out of each other from a limited and imperfect person who can’t and will never be able to complete and satisfy us.

Yes, if the Lord Jesus Christ is WITH them. He is IN their relationship. If He is the source we will can give, and never ran out of something to give. For He is limitless, He will never ran out of things we need, in Him we are complete, In Him we can find all that we’re looking for.

Love becomes not just a noun but a verb. It not self-seeking, it’s focuses more on giving than receiving, of serving not just being served. The other person becomes the priority.

Let me share our favorite verse found in Ecclesiastes 4:12 and it’s my prayer for you and your partner

” Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. “ With Jesus in the center of our relationship nothing can go against us.

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Men vs. Women


Yes women are from venus while men are from mars ,

We are completely different from each other, wired wholly different.
And for this very reason we must unceasingly exert all our efforts and energy to keep Love and Unity in our relationships.

The bible says in Ephesians 5:23-24, 33:
“For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. ”

33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Men and women may be different in a lot of areas , functions and roles but both are equal in the sight of our God.

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