#1 – Stop Fighting IN IT and Start Fighting For It – as long as you see your spouse as the enemy your home will always be a battlefield, and EVERYONE loses when you fight with each other and not for one another.
#2 – Stop Asking God To Fix Your Spouse And Ask Him To Fix You – no one in any marriage is perfect…and when we stop pointing out all of our spouses perceived inadequacies it really does make us a much better person to be around. (Psalm 139:23-24 is a GREAT prayer to pray when asking God to show you your very own “opportunities for improvement.”)
#3 – Ask For Help – you are NOT the first married couple that has ever struggled, you WON’T be the last. The problem is that (especially in church) we are so obsessed with what people may say or think that we will allow our relationships to implode. We cannot allow our desire for appearance to distort the reality that we need help!
#4 – Ask The Lord To Allow You To See Your Spouse Through His Eyes – this can/will absolutely CHANGE your perspective on who you are married to…because you see them less and less as your spouse and more and more as a son/daughter of the KING!!! How do you think He wants His child to be treated?
#5 – Choose Right Now That You Are Always Going To Believe The Best About Your Spouse – Love always assumes the best about a person (see I Corinthians 13,) if you are always assuming the worst about the person you are married to then you have a major problem and are placing them in a no win situation.
#6 – Stop Seeing Your Spouse As Your Servant But Rather Your Opportunity To Serve – As long as you see them as your servant you will always be tempted to point out their shortcomings in regards to the ways they are not meeting your perceived needs. However, if you see them as your opportunity to serve it will completely change the dynamic and temperature of the relationship.
(And singles, this is for you as well…the best way to HAVE a great marriage is to actually prepare beforehand!)