God in the center of our relationships

Posts tagged ‘purity’

I could have kissed her last night.

ImageLast night I fetch my fiancée nurse Ayi from the hospital to send her home.
She should be out by 10pm but something unexpected happened with her patient that why she was dismissed late and I was able to send her home around 12 midnight.

We really made the most out of our traveling time while we were on the cab on our way to her home. We talked and shared about the thing that has happened on that day, good and sad news, we talked about my latest blog and our plans and goals for this season.

We really had a great time together even in just less than one hour ride. It’s as if we just meet each other recently, we could stare and smile at each other’s face all day and all night. But I need to leave , need to rest too. And so I had my forehead near her forehead to say my goodbye. then I stared at her lips and told her, ” You know what, I could kiss you now but I won’t. I could figure out good reasons why I could kiss you now but I won’t present them because of the following reasons;

1. I love my future wife more than my fiancée.
2. Until we get married, she is not yet mine.
3. I want to honor and treat her as she deserve.
4. I love God and I want us to be pure and holy before him.

These are all good reasons why I didn’t kiss her yet that night. One can say there’s nothing wrong with a kiss, its not a mortal sin. But my motivation could be because we want to take PRIDE of having “it” as one of my accomplishments (to look and feel good that we’re pure, holy and obedient Christians) that the first we did “IT” was only on the very night the minister says “you may now kiss the bride” BUT we miss the real point of WHY abstain from premarital sex and have our first kiss on the altar.

Following Pastor D’s example,

“… Because she is a daughter of God. Jesus gave His life for Ayi and Jesus is entrusting her to me. I want to treat Ayi with love and respect as Christ loved her by totally relying on the GRACE of God and not on my own because I know left to myself I , I CAN’T stay pure and holy without Him in the center (first priority) of our relationship. Without His GRACE, our righteousness and good deeds are all “filthy rags” in His sight.”

Inspired by Pastor D’s blog. “The first kiss, the virgin and how I totally missed the point”.

Why Marriage Cannot Save you

By Sean Si

As single men and women, we all look forward to that glorious day when we will be married to the person we love. It is something that we all hope and aspire for. In a world saturated with pornography, sex and indulgence, lust is rampant. And we think that the solution is marriage – isn’t it?

 

Don’t wait for marriage to change you

 

This entry has been inspired by the book Every Young Man’s Battle by Fred Stoeker and Stephen Arterburn

A sanctuary against lust?

We think that once we get married, lust is not an issue anymore. Hey, we can satisfy our sexual desires in a way that is legitimate and morally acceptable to God in marriage, can we not? Yes, of course we can. But that doesn’t mean that we won’t get tempted with lust anymore.

From a very young age, people now are very vulnerable to getting exposed with pornography. And young Christian men and women struggle with lust ever since they can remember. Let’s face it, one reason why we look forward to marriage so much is because we have this mindset that it will somehow free us from this bondage of lust.

It most certainly won’t. Why? Simply because marriage does not, in any way, change who you are.

 

A piece of paper

I’m not saying that marriage should be taken for granted. No. Marriage is a piece of paper that testifies to your choice of committment and love to another person. It is proof that you have decided on abiding to a higher law. A law above your feelings and emotions and time. It is a law outside of this world. It is a law of God.

That piece of paper is vital. It is important. Never do business with a person who says otherwise.

But a piece of paper is not meant to change who you are. You are the only one who can change yourself – by making a choice. A choice to love and follow God and reject sin and lust.

That is why so many people wake up and realize that a wedding ring isn’t magic. A wedding ring is not a catalyst to changing who they are. And that is exactly because it is not meant to do so. A wedding ring is meant to be proof that you have decided to love someone unconditionally and nothing else. It is not meant to change you.

 

Don’t wait ’til marriage

Decide to fight lust now. Look at the truths about lust in the Bible and how devastating it is to just let it run loose in your life. It’s not easy. It takes decision, disciple and the Holy Spirit to help you overcome lust. But the alternative is devastating – living life with an addiction to lustful thoughts and sensuality.

Lust can destroy your marriage. Don’t wait until marriage for you to change. Look at all the adulterous relationships happening in our world. Married men are hooked into adultery, addicted to pornography and defeated into masturbation. Don’t think that once you’re married, masturbation goes out the window. It doesn’t.

Marriage is not about getting sex. If you make it so, you’re not really committing to love unconditionally. Sex is a part of marriage, not vice versa.

Lust is something that consistently knocks

on your door. Marriage is not something that can block it out.

Marriage can’t save you.

Don’t wait until you get there. Make a decision to stand against lust today.

 

10 Reasons I Should Not Be Dating Him/Her

by Perry Noble

#1 – They are not willing to fight FOR purity.  (Trust me…if they won’t fight for purity with you before you are married, then there is a greater chance they won’t fight for purity after you are married.)

#2 – If they are trying to get me to compromise with what God’s Word says so clearly.  (If they lead you away from God’s Word before marriage, they will do so even more after marriage…the way they have lived in their past and the way they are living now are indicators of how they are going to live when they marry you.  You cannot change them…you are NOT the Holy Spirit!)

#3 – If you are always defending him/her to the people who know me, love me and love Jesus.  (Love is blind…and many times you cannot see the blind spots that others can see so clearly.)

#4 – If you find yourself not wanting to talk about him/her in front of the people in your life that you know may disapprove of the relationship for some reason.  (Because…when this happens you are choosing to ignore what the Lord could be trying to make obvious through others because you are too involved emotionally to make a rational decision.)

#5 – If you know the relationship isn’t really going anywhere…but you don’t want to “break up” because doing so would cause you to be insecure, because you have allowed yourself to be identified by who you are dating rather than who you are in Christ.

#6 – You find out that they are lying to you.  If they lie to you before you are married, then they will lie to you in marriage.

#7 – If you cannot confront them about issues without them losing their temper.

#8 – If you discover that they are unfaithful to you.

#9 – If something about them absolutely drives you insane…but you convince yourself that after you get married “that problem” will go away.  (Actually…it won’t, it will get larger!)

#10 – If the Lord has specifically spoken to you and instructed you to end the relationship but you can’t/won’t because you either “don’t want to hurt them” or you fear that if you end this relationship then you won’t have another chance at one.

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