God in the center of our relationships

Posts tagged ‘purity’

I could have kissed her last night.

ImageLast night I fetch my fiancée nurse Ayi from the hospital to send her home.
She should be out by 10pm but something unexpected happened with her patient that why she was dismissed late and I was able to send her home around 12 midnight.

We really made the most out of our traveling time while we were on the cab on our way to her home. We talked and shared about the thing that has happened on that day, good and sad news, we talked about my latest blog and our plans and goals for this season.

We really had a great time together even in just less than one hour ride. It’s as if we just meet each other recently, we could stare and smile at each other’s face all day and all night. But I need to leave , need to rest too. And so I had my forehead near her forehead to say my goodbye. then I stared at her lips and told her, ” You know what, I could kiss you now but I won’t. I could figure out good reasons why I could kiss you now but I won’t present them because of the following reasons;

1. I love my future wife more than my fiancée.
2. Until we get married, she is not yet mine.
3. I want to honor and treat her as she deserve.
4. I love God and I want us to be pure and holy before him.

These are all good reasons why I didn’t kiss her yet that night. One can say there’s nothing wrong with a kiss, its not a mortal sin. But my motivation could be because we want to take PRIDE of having “it” as one of my accomplishments (to look and feel good that we’re pure, holy and obedient Christians) that the first we did “IT” was only on the very night the minister says “you may now kiss the bride” BUT we miss the real point of WHY abstain from premarital sex and have our first kiss on the altar.

Following Pastor D’s example,

“… Because she is a daughter of God. Jesus gave His life for Ayi and Jesus is entrusting her to me. I want to treat Ayi with love and respect as Christ loved her by totally relying on the GRACE of God and not on my own because I know left to myself I , I CAN’T stay pure and holy without Him in the center (first priority) of our relationship. Without His GRACE, our righteousness and good deeds are all “filthy rags” in His sight.”

Inspired by Pastor D’s blog. “The first kiss, the virgin and how I totally missed the point”.

Why Marriage Cannot Save you

By Sean Si

As single men and women, we all look forward to that glorious day when we will be married to the person we love. It is something that we all hope and aspire for. In a world saturated with pornography, sex and indulgence, lust is rampant. And we think that the solution is marriage – isn’t it?

 

Don’t wait for marriage to change you

 

This entry has been inspired by the book Every Young Man’s Battle by Fred Stoeker and Stephen Arterburn

A sanctuary against lust?

We think that once we get married, lust is not an issue anymore. Hey, we can satisfy our sexual desires in a way that is legitimate and morally acceptable to God in marriage, can we not? Yes, of course we can. But that doesn’t mean that we won’t get tempted with lust anymore.

From a very young age, people now are very vulnerable to getting exposed with pornography. And young Christian men and women struggle with lust ever since they can remember. Let’s face it, one reason why we look forward to marriage so much is because we have this mindset that it will somehow free us from this bondage of lust.

It most certainly won’t. Why? Simply because marriage does not, in any way, change who you are.

 

A piece of paper

I’m not saying that marriage should be taken for granted. No. Marriage is a piece of paper that testifies to your choice of committment and love to another person. It is proof that you have decided on abiding to a higher law. A law above your feelings and emotions and time. It is a law outside of this world. It is a law of God.

That piece of paper is vital. It is important. Never do business with a person who says otherwise.

But a piece of paper is not meant to change who you are. You are the only one who can change yourself – by making a choice. A choice to love and follow God and reject sin and lust.

That is why so many people wake up and realize that a wedding ring isn’t magic. A wedding ring is not a catalyst to changing who they are. And that is exactly because it is not meant to do so. A wedding ring is meant to be proof that you have decided to love someone unconditionally and nothing else. It is not meant to change you.

 

Don’t wait ’til marriage

Decide to fight lust now. Look at the truths about lust in the Bible and how devastating it is to just let it run loose in your life. It’s not easy. It takes decision, disciple and the Holy Spirit to help you overcome lust. But the alternative is devastating – living life with an addiction to lustful thoughts and sensuality.

Lust can destroy your marriage. Don’t wait until marriage for you to change. Look at all the adulterous relationships happening in our world. Married men are hooked into adultery, addicted to pornography and defeated into masturbation. Don’t think that once you’re married, masturbation goes out the window. It doesn’t.

Marriage is not about getting sex. If you make it so, you’re not really committing to love unconditionally. Sex is a part of marriage, not vice versa.

Lust is something that consistently knocks

on your door. Marriage is not something that can block it out.

Marriage can’t save you.

Don’t wait until you get there. Make a decision to stand against lust today.

 

10 Reasons I Should Not Be Dating Him/Her

by Perry Noble

#1 – They are not willing to fight FOR purity.  (Trust me…if they won’t fight for purity with you before you are married, then there is a greater chance they won’t fight for purity after you are married.)

#2 – If they are trying to get me to compromise with what God’s Word says so clearly.  (If they lead you away from God’s Word before marriage, they will do so even more after marriage…the way they have lived in their past and the way they are living now are indicators of how they are going to live when they marry you.  You cannot change them…you are NOT the Holy Spirit!)

#3 – If you are always defending him/her to the people who know me, love me and love Jesus.  (Love is blind…and many times you cannot see the blind spots that others can see so clearly.)

#4 – If you find yourself not wanting to talk about him/her in front of the people in your life that you know may disapprove of the relationship for some reason.  (Because…when this happens you are choosing to ignore what the Lord could be trying to make obvious through others because you are too involved emotionally to make a rational decision.)

#5 – If you know the relationship isn’t really going anywhere…but you don’t want to “break up” because doing so would cause you to be insecure, because you have allowed yourself to be identified by who you are dating rather than who you are in Christ.

#6 – You find out that they are lying to you.  If they lie to you before you are married, then they will lie to you in marriage.

#7 – If you cannot confront them about issues without them losing their temper.

#8 – If you discover that they are unfaithful to you.

#9 – If something about them absolutely drives you insane…but you convince yourself that after you get married “that problem” will go away.  (Actually…it won’t, it will get larger!)

#10 – If the Lord has specifically spoken to you and instructed you to end the relationship but you can’t/won’t because you either “don’t want to hurt them” or you fear that if you end this relationship then you won’t have another chance at one.

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10 Dating Tips for Christian Singles

By Dr. Linda Mintle

CBN.com – You are dating an incredibly good-looking guy. You both feel the attraction building up. What do you do? Now is not the time to decide! It’s too difficult to think when passion overtakes you. You must decide before you go on the date what your limits will be.

1) Do not be unequally yoked.

Take II Cor. 6:14 seriously.

Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? (NLT)

If you are dating someone who doesn’t have a personal relationship with Christ, you are playing with fire. If you fall in love, what will you do? Don’t let the relationship progress to a physical point and then hope you can cut it off later.

2) Put on the armor of God daily.

You need all the help you can get in today’s world. Are you spending time with God? Do you depend on Him to meet your needs of love and security? You can resist temptation if you put on the whole armor of God (Eph. 6:10-20).

3) Put obedience over passion.

Not everything we do that’s right, feels good. In fact, usually the opposite is true. It feels incredibly good to give in to passion. But, the authority of Christ needs to take precedence over your physical drives. Society tells you to give in to the moment. Christ tells you to be obedient to His word.

4) Physical expression must be appropriate.

Physical touch/intimacy should correspond with commitment. This doesn’t mean anything goes if you are engaged. Physical touch should be in the context of a meaningful relationship, not reduced to satisfaction of personal need.

5) Limits must be set mutually.

Both partners should take responsibility for setting limits. Mutual boundary keeping reflects maturity.

6) Examine your personal motives.

What is your motivation — power and control, gratifying your own ego, meeting a selfish need, or genuine affection?

7) Is there too much physical and too little other?

If the social, emotional, spiritual dimensions are missing or lacking, you are out of balance. If you can’t stand the person but have a great physical relationship, rethink the relationship.

8) Less is better.

If one person is uncomfortable with any type of physical expression, don’t do it. You should respect and honor each other. Don’t push a date to do anything that makes him/her feel uncomfortable.

9) Be guided by love versus lust.

Love is the fruit of the Spirit. From love comes self-control. Operate in love, not lust.

10) Allow the Holy Spirit to direct and lead you.

If you feel convicted of certain behaviors, stop doing them.

Special Note: If you are a teen, you must honor your parents and respect their counsel (Ephesians 6:2-3). You are subject to parental authority. Don’t be sexually active just because you can get away with it.

You may want to see Love vs. Infatuation

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Freshmen

         I thought I’ll have no blog entry this week but while I was on my way to office, The bus i was riding on played this song while everyone’s quiet and sleepy, I’ve found the lyrics of the song interesting and I knew I’ve heard this song many years ago but only now that I was able to listen to it attentively.

So I’ve searched in the internet and found out the full lyrics of that song entitled “Freshmen” popularized by the Verve, this song was written out the composer’s own experiences. And it might share, remind and warn us of the hurts and pains  brought by permarital sex (unwanted pregnancies), passions expressed in the wrong timing . Listen to this song and read the lyrics below so you would know what I mean.

When I was young I knew everything
And she a punk who rarely ever took advice
Now I’m guilt stricken, sobbin’ with my head on the floor
Stop a Baby’s Breath and a shoe full of rice, no…

I can’t be held responsible
‘Cause she was touching her face
I won’t be held responsible
She fell in love in the first place

For the life of me I cannot remember
What made us think that we were wise and we’d never compromise
For the life of me I cannot believe we’d ever die for these sins
We were merely freshmen

My best friend took a week’s vacation to forget her
His girl took a week’s worth of valium and slept
And now he’s guilt stricken sobbin’ with his head on the floor
Thinks about her now and how he never really wept he says

I can’t be held responsible
‘Cause she was touching her face
I won’t be held responsible
She fell in love in the first place

For the life of me I cannot remember
What made us think that we were wise and we’d never compromise
For the life of me I cannot believe we’d ever die for these sins
We were merely freshmen
hey yay e yay e yay e yay e yay hey yay e yay e

We’ve tried to wash our hands of all of this
We never talk of our lack in relationships
And how we’re guilt stricken sobbin’ with our heads on the floor
We fell through the ice when we tried not to slip, we’d say

I can’t be held responsible
‘Cause she was touching her face
And I won’t be held responsible
She fell in love in the first place

We were merely freshmen
We were only freshmen

             We need people to educate us, guide us, help us and whom we can be accountable with. And being “freshmen” shouldn’t be a “norm-accepted-by-the-public-kinda-culture”, Guilt and shame what Sin always want to offer us. It’s possible to prevent this from happening , Jesus has come  that might have life and have it to the full (John 10:10) Let Jesus be in the center  your relationship, your priority, your first love.

“Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” – Matthew 19:26

Jesus Christ is always there with us and for us. Even if we’ve made mistakes in the past. He will always be there to pick you up. If you to accept Him in your life or know Him more, please see salvation prayer. Thank you and God bless you!

Our sexuality is a gift from God. Fight for Purity.

I remember a few weeks ago a friend of mine ask me a question which I want blog about today. The question was “Now that you (Me and Ayi) are in a relationship, we’re there any temptations? Whoa! I admire my friend for asking that question showing real concern for us. And I really thank God for surrounding us with friends who love us and are really there to support and encourage, mentor, inspire us and pray for us.  (I also thank God for our leaders and friends who exemplified Godly lives, worth emulating of whom both of us are so blessed and inspired to have known.) Grabe lalim ng English ko hehe!

So how did I answer my friend’s question? I said “Ah Yes, Oo naman”.  All the more now that We have known each other more and we’re both “in love” with one another, the enemy, our sinful nature is there lurking around finding for opportunities to “steal, kill and destroy this God given relationship. So may I present to everyone reading this blog “We are at war ! “ against sin, against sexual immorality.

God warns us about sexual immorality. In Ephesians 5:3-7 (NIV) God’s word warns us specifically about sexual immorality.  “But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people”.

Sexual immorality can control one’s life. What takes root through the power of suggestion quickly overtakes one’s entire life.  Sexual immorality is sharing God’s gift with anyone other than your marriage partner.  The word for sexual immorality covers everything including premarital sexual relations, adultery, pornography, living together without marriage, and more.

Sexual immorality is a false promise.  It promises happiness, but never delivers happiness.  It promises deeper love and intimacy, but leaves one empty and broken.  If you were a thinking intelligent person, you would pay attention to the place that sexual immorality has brought its own practitioners.  Does promiscuity satisfy?  Does fornication build a stronger marriage?  Does adultery lead to happiness?  Does pornography satisfy the soul?  Does it bring healing and wholeness? the answer is a big NO.

Sexual sin stirs the wrath of God. And it deeply angers God.  It profanes his holy nameIn Ephesians 5:6 (NIV) Paul says, “because of such things God’s wrath comes on those who are disobedient.”  More importantly, It breaks the heart of our loving God. He desires and wants the best for us at the right time.

Our sinful nature is awfully powerful. All sin, but especially sexual sin, can be captivating and alluring and powerful.  It is so easy for us to push out into the currents of the sinful nature.  It is so easy to be fall into the trap of lust. It is so easy to let our curiosity get the best of us.  It is easy to cast aside all judgment and constraint, to silence our conscience, and to drift far beyond the boundaries that God has set for us. Dami na kinailangang ikasal kaagad unprepared and hindi pa sila ready.

With the click of a mouse, with the touch of a remote, with the turn of a page, with the curious second glance at a stranger, with an inviting gaze into another’s eyes, with a few seemingly careless words and innocent gestures, with the careful recalculation of our steps to place ourselves at temptation’s door, we can easily be swept downstream, far away, to a place of no return.

 Sexual immorality impacts everyone.  No one is exempt.  It is a male problem.  It is a female problem.  It is a youth problem.  It is an adult problem.  It is a problem for singles and for married couples.  It is a problem among senior citizens. When Paul says that there should not be even a hint of sexual immorality among us, he doesn’t put any qualifiers on it.  This word applies to everyone.

Our sexuality is a gift from God. Our sexuality when used according to God’s design, these good gifts bring joy and happiness.  But when these good gifts are abused, they produce brokenness and sorrow. When God’s design is abandoned, our sexuality can become a kind of curse.  When handled incorrectly, sexuality can produce brokenness and sorrow, cause pain, decimate life’s relationships, corrupt the heart, mind, body and soul, and steal us away from God himself.  We live or die according to God’s design.  We can either move deeper into joy and happiness by living within God’s will or we can break ourselves against God’s design. Pre-marital sex is not God’s plan for us. Sex at the right time is God glorifying. It’s part of His good ,pleasing and perfect will for us.

If you find yourself weak in this area, only God’s grace can help us and enable us to win war against lust but we got to declare war against sin first. Know that you are not beyond the grace of God.  God wants to forgive you.  He wants to fill you with his Holy Spirit to give you power and strength.  He wants to purify you from all unrighteousness

We choose to enjoy God. Our holiness is the fruit of delighting ourselves to Him. Good news, victory is already made available for us to claim. We have God’s help, His saving grace, and His salvation. Let us always keep in mind that everyday we are at war with sin, The devil’s plans and schemes, But God’s spirit is always there to remind us, warn us, strengthen, and teach us to say NO to any ungodliness and worldly passion to grant us victory. Victory is ours,so let’s claim it everyday. Pray unceasingly for the mind of Christ to keep us from any form of sin. We (Me and Ayi) really like this next verse, we even memorize it.

“For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people.  It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age.” – Titus 2:11-12

Everyone can be the devil’s target. You are not alone in this fight. Join us.We will fight this battle for purity and holiness against the sin of lust by the SUFFICIENT GRACE of God because He loves us so much and apart from Him we can do nothing. May our lives always bring honor and glory to Him.

If you like this post, please don’t hesitate to share, tweet, comment or subscribe to  our blog posts. We hope to hear from you too. Thanks and God bless you!

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