Posts tagged ‘single’
These are the top temptations we see single people have to struggle through when considering a relationship…
#1 – Compromise! Hands down this is the first temptation…and I would argue that it is the girl that deals with this way more than the guy. She begins wanting “Mr. Right” but will settle for “Mr. Right Now” if she perceives that all of her friends are getting married and she is not. God has NEVER called His followers to compromise…EVER!!! (And…ladies…if you are constantly having the defend the guy you are dating, then you know you are compromising.)
AND…ladies…if he is not pursuing you in a godly manner (which means he is not constantly trying to stick his hands down your pants) then drop him!
#2 – Believing That Marriage Will Solve The Struggles You Are Facing While Dating! Marriage is a magnifier…and if it is a small deal when you are dating then I promise it will be a BIG HONKIN’ deal when you get married!
#3 – Going Too Fast! Anyone can fool anyone for a short period of time! You need to date someone “until the new wears off!” If two people are in a hurry to get married then it is usually because they are trying to hide something from the other person…or because they just want to have sex!
#4 – Trying To Be The Person That The Person They Are Dating Wants Them To Be Rather Than Who They Are – If you are having to lie about who you are to date someone…then you need to break up today! Ladies…DO NOT SAY you love football and want to go to games with him if you don’t know the difference between the offense and the defense. Dudes, DO NOT SAY you absolutely LOVE chic flics and want to watch them for hours if doing so drives you crazy! If you are doing things you HATE to do…but have refused to be honest and tell the other person the truth…then you are being dishonest with them.
#5 – Seeking Advice And/OR Affirmation From The Wrong People! Single people…please, if you want marriage/dating advice…then go to people who are actually married and have been so for a long time!
Why in the world would you ask a single person for marriage advice? Why would you ask someone who has literally blown through relationship after relationship how to have a relationship? Because they read a book? Because they know some Bible verses? REALLY? If you want to know how to have a successful relationship…ask those who have one.
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How to be content in this season you’re in.
The kind of person you should be looking to marry.
Boundaries for when you’re dating.
All of those are good and necessary. But there’s something that most Christians completely miss that’s an essential principle for optimal relationships and marriages. If you don’t get this, it doesn’t matter who you date because it will be a fraction of the relationship God meant for you. And your marriage to them will be too.
Happiness is not finding the right person. It’s being the right person.
I’ve seen countless Christians sabotage their marriages not because they married the wrong person but because when they got married they weren’t the right person for the other person. Not in their chemistry, but in their character.
If two half people get together and they’re not complete in Christ, they don’t make a whole person. They subtract from each other rather than adding to each other and they become more miserable.
There’s only one half you’re responsible for right now. And that’s your half.
Stop looking for the person of your dreams and start becoming someone another person is dreaming about. Make someone else’s dreams become a reality.
A lot of single people make lists of what they want in the person they’re looking for. That’s fine. Just make sure that if the person you’re looking for had the same list, they’d find you.
You may be waiting in this season of your life for God to bring the right person.
Or you may be wondering if the person you’re dating is the right person.
He will do it.
He will reveal it.
In the meantime, be what you’re looking for.