God in the center of our relationships

Posts tagged ‘relationships’

Chasing your Woman

From the time you laid down your intentions of pursuing her. Courting her means chasing her.

And I needed to assure her that I’m serious with her. So asked my male friends to give me tips on how to  pursue someone “Paano ba manligaw?” I’ve gathered some of good tips and advices.

Here are just some things you both need to know when it comes to the relationship;

1. The man calls more

When it comes to phone calls, the man should be making most of them. Sure after a while the woman can do this too.

But the man should keep things interesting by making most of the effort. Chasing. I would try to call her just a few minutes before her work time, lunch time and after working hours. If she’s smart, she won’t return every phone call, because if she did, you might start to think she’s too easy to get a hold of.

My chase with Ayi was more exciting because I had no clue If she’ll say yes, and there’s a possibility I thought I might lose.

2. The man defines the relationship

My friend Val wrote a blog about defining your values. I also want to suggest that even if you’re in the season of courtship, men has to lead in defining the relationship’s existence. What’s his purpose? His values? Share his plans.

We know that women love to talk, and they love to define things when men lead cluelessly, women unknowingly take the men’s role of leadership. If she knows this, she’ll let you assess things, and when you think it’s time, you are the one who defines the relationship. You lead her to where next. I believe it has to be part of the chase thing. The woman doesn’t tell the man what’s going to happen next. In short man has to lead her woman.

3. The man gives more

For a woman, affection is largely related to things she gets. It’s not that all women are greedy, It’s just that cards, flowers, chocolates and notes, and even attention mean a lot to a woman. Give her thoughtful things now and then and she’ll feel loved. Overdo it and you’ll look desperate.

One powerful tip I got from my friend, Give gifts when they aren’t expected. Surprise them and don’t be too predictable , that can be boring for them.

As you pursue and chase your woman be reminded  that Men were wired Kings, Warriors, Mentors and Friend.

“I’m-dating-Jesus” and other excuses why you’re not dating….

Jesus loves me this I know….. and that’s why I’m dating Him.
Unless you are Jim Caviezel’s wife, this may sound pretty weird but this is a mantra being uttered by many spiritual single waiting for God to drop their dream mate on their lap ” in his time” and hoping to avoid hurtful dating consequences. imagine if you applied this principle to your career:I believe God has one perfect well paying job already chosen for me; therefore, I have no need to worry about searching for it.
      When the time is right, I know God will bring me together with that company’s HR department, and I will miraculously have all the skills and experience needed. in the meantime. I’m not hiding in the closet avoiding all places of business, but I’m living my life without the pressure of having to look for a job. I don’t have to do anything.Sound pretty ridiculous, right? Well, many singles are over-romanticizing their relationship with God. Other excuses are “I’m just focusing on my career,” “There aren’t any good ones left.”

Now, sometimes these excuses are valid focusing on career, family or ministry in the church. But most often these excuses are heard when people are tired of making mistakes or because of “fear of rejection” which paralyze someone to the point that they won’t even accept dinner invitation from someone they are attracted to. Have a healthy perspective about dating and taking things slow is the key.

Jesus loves you so that He too wants you to get into a relationship. But again for the women, you’re not the one who’s going to pursue men, but let them pursue you, coz’ that’s what real men do, rescue the beauty, ask her out, and pursue her while protecting her.

For gals: “You don’t have to pursue men but you can get in their way- Mark Driscoll.”

Singles… Something we all should Remember..

from my friend Athens @ Iamblessedbeyondwords

Have you ever wondered why you are still single? WHy every past relationship never worked out? Or that guy/girl stopped giving you attention? Why a short-term relationship suddenly sounds really really enticing?

The fact is that we are relational beings. We need relationships. And at a certain age we need or want a partner. The question is what type of relationship you want. Going back to all of the above questions, it just means it is NOT THE RIGHT TIME NOR PERSON.

Okay, you don’t care about the so-called right timing nor right person but think about this instead:

1. Is it a good feeling that your partner would compare you with his/her past relationships?

2. How would you feel when you continually compare your partner with the past? Doesn’t that mean you have no contentment?

There are a lot more to ask but another thing I would really bring up that just popped into my head when i woke up at 5:30 am today although my work is 10:30pm (argh!) is my personal desire..

I don’t want to be a distraction to someone’s future. Everyone has a purpose on this earth and I want to fulfill mine as well as him fulfilling his. And I respect his future partner and I do not want me lingering in his past to cause future issues. And that I hope will also be a thought that someone out there would think for me.

This is committing. This is real-life, real-live relationships. It is life-time friends and family. All relationships are important, even if it is not yet marriage.

Would you still settle for a short-term relationship then after reading this?

Top Five Temptations Single People Face When Considering A Relationship

by Awaken Generation

These are the top temptations we see single people have to struggle through when considering a relationship…

#1 – Compromise! Hands down this is the first temptation…and I would argue that it is the girl that deals with this way more than the guy.  She begins wanting “Mr. Right” but will settle for “Mr. Right Now” if she perceives that all of her friends are getting married and she is not.  God has NEVER called His followers to compromise…EVER!!!  (And…ladies…if you are constantly having the defend the guy you are dating, then you know you are compromising.)

AND…ladies…if he is not pursuing you in a godly manner (which means he is not constantly trying to stick his hands down your pants) then drop him!

#2 – Believing That Marriage Will Solve The Struggles You Are Facing While Dating! Marriage is a magnifier…and if it is a small deal when you are dating then I promise it will be a BIG HONKIN’ deal when you get married!

#3 – Going Too Fast! Anyone can fool anyone for a short period of time!  You need to date someone “until the new wears off!”  If two people are in a hurry to get married then it is usually because they are trying to hide something from the other person…or because they just want to have sex!

#4 – Trying To Be The Person That The Person They Are Dating Wants Them To Be Rather Than Who They Are – If you are having to lie about who you are to date someone…then you need to break up today!  Ladies…DO NOT SAY you love football and want to go to games with him if you don’t know the difference between the offense and the defense.  Dudes, DO NOT SAY you absolutely LOVE chic flics and want to watch them for hours if doing so drives you crazy!  If you are doing things you HATE to do…but have refused to be honest and tell the other person the truth…then you are being dishonest with them.

#5 – Seeking Advice And/OR Affirmation From The Wrong People! Single people…please, if you want marriage/dating advice…then go to people who are actually married and have been so for a long time!

Why in the world would you ask a single person for marriage advice?  Why would you ask someone who has literally blown through relationship after relationship how to have a relationship?  Because they read a book?  Because they know some Bible verses?  REALLY?  If you want to know how to have a successful relationship…ask those who have one.

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My advice for single people

by Steven Furtick

There’s a lot of advice I could give to single and dating people.

How to be content in this season you’re in.
The kind of person you should be looking to marry.
Boundaries for when you’re dating.

All of those are good and necessary. But there’s something that most Christians completely miss that’s an essential principle for optimal relationships and marriages. If you don’t get this, it doesn’t matter who you date because it will be a fraction of the relationship God meant for you. And your marriage to them will be too.

Happiness is not finding the right person. It’s being the right person.

I’ve seen countless Christians sabotage their marriages not because they married the wrong person but because when they got married they weren’t the right person for the other person. Not in their chemistry, but in their character.

If two half people get together and they’re not complete in Christ, they don’t make a whole person. They subtract from each other rather than adding to each other and they become more miserable.

There’s only one half you’re responsible for right now. And that’s your half.

Stop looking for the person of your dreams and start becoming someone another person is dreaming about. Make someone else’s dreams become a reality.

A lot of single people make lists of what they want in the person they’re looking for. That’s fine. Just make sure that if the person you’re looking for had the same list, they’d find you.

You may be waiting in this season of your life for God to bring the right person.
Or you may be wondering if the person you’re dating is the right person.

He will do it.
He will reveal it.

In the meantime, be what you’re looking for.

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