God in the center of our relationships

Posts tagged ‘dating’

It’s too late to apologize, Segurista

Here’s a question from a guy who is a day late in asking her out,

   ” I’m a guy and have a friend girl who lives in the same building as me, and we hang outa lot. She calls , SMS or IM’s me every day and tells me everything about her day. It makes me feel really close to her. We’ve been hanging out, doing lunch, dinner, talking, etc., for about two years, and yesterday she told me me that she had a date with this new guy that just moved in next door.   I was totally shocked. I thought that our friendship was working toward something. Where’d did I go wrong? Why would she do this to me?

Do what to you to? Wait two year for you to get the nerve to ask her out on a real date? I think she gave you too much time! Listen, it shouldn’t take two years to decide if you want to ask a girl out for a date.

If she was that important to you, you should have made the move and advanced the relationship.

As it stands, she probably just considered you another girlfriend she could dump all her emotions upon until she found the love of her life. You could have save yourself a lot of heartache by making a move a year and a half ago.

Women can’t be put on hold until you are certain they are into you. You must strike while the iron is hot. Don’t be a “Segurista”. Next time, don’t try to protect yourself by being friends first; find out if she likes you by asking her out. The two-year friendship/breakup thing is nothing you want to experience again.

“I’m-dating-Jesus” and other excuses why you’re not dating….

Jesus loves me this I know….. and that’s why I’m dating Him.
Unless you are Jim Caviezel’s wife, this may sound pretty weird but this is a mantra being uttered by many spiritual single waiting for God to drop their dream mate on their lap ” in his time” and hoping to avoid hurtful dating consequences. imagine if you applied this principle to your career:I believe God has one perfect well paying job already chosen for me; therefore, I have no need to worry about searching for it.
      When the time is right, I know God will bring me together with that company’s HR department, and I will miraculously have all the skills and experience needed. in the meantime. I’m not hiding in the closet avoiding all places of business, but I’m living my life without the pressure of having to look for a job. I don’t have to do anything.Sound pretty ridiculous, right? Well, many singles are over-romanticizing their relationship with God. Other excuses are “I’m just focusing on my career,” “There aren’t any good ones left.”

Now, sometimes these excuses are valid focusing on career, family or ministry in the church. But most often these excuses are heard when people are tired of making mistakes or because of “fear of rejection” which paralyze someone to the point that they won’t even accept dinner invitation from someone they are attracted to. Have a healthy perspective about dating and taking things slow is the key.

Jesus loves you so that He too wants you to get into a relationship. But again for the women, you’re not the one who’s going to pursue men, but let them pursue you, coz’ that’s what real men do, rescue the beauty, ask her out, and pursue her while protecting her.

For gals: “You don’t have to pursue men but you can get in their way- Mark Driscoll.”

Dating n’ Courtship

We’re now engaged! Praise God!

Here are some of my thoughts about getting engaged (Chosenness).

Here are the reasons why we (Ayi and I) can’t describe, label or call our relationship “dating“.

 

Dating Overview

Courtship Overview

How old are people when they start?

Varies-usually sometime during high school

When they are ready to get married usually sometime after high school.

How does it start?

Usually two people are romantically attracted to each other, and one asks the other to go out on a date.

Two people have already gotten to know each other in-group settings (church, work, volunteer ministries, etc.) And think the other person might make a good spouse. Romantic interest is usually there but is not the driving force.

How does a couple spend their time together?

Sometimes in a group dates, and sometimes at each other’s homes. Usually most of their time “dating” is spent alone together doing things like going to dinner, going on walks, seeing concerts, or movies, etc.

A couple does their “courting” in group settings, basically by spending time with each other’s families.

Role of parents and family

Lots of variety. Girl’s parents may want to meet the guy before they go out, or they may not. Most parents like to casually get to know  the person their son or daughter is seeing, and may include them in family activities.

Critical to courtship. They oversee, watch and help arrange the advancement of the relationship.

The goal

Varies. It can be simply having fun, growing close, or planning for marriage

Marriage

Please don’t get me wrong I’m not totally against Dating. Dating I believe is NOT totally wrong (But I’ll suggest group dating and refrain from getting isolated). It’s the motive and the end goal that makes courtship better, in my own opinion. There are some overlaps between the two.

At the end of the day, You’ll know whether you’re just playing hearts or own emotions. Real love commits. Love without commitment is not love at all.

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