God in the center of our relationships

Posts tagged ‘dating’

It’s too late to apologize, Segurista

Here’s a question from a guy who is a day late in asking her out,

   ” I’m a guy and have a friend girl who lives in the same building as me, and we hang outa lot. She calls , SMS or IM’s me every day and tells me everything about her day. It makes me feel really close to her. We’ve been hanging out, doing lunch, dinner, talking, etc., for about two years, and yesterday she told me me that she had a date with this new guy that just moved in next door.   I was totally shocked. I thought that our friendship was working toward something. Where’d did I go wrong? Why would she do this to me?

Do what to you to? Wait two year for you to get the nerve to ask her out on a real date? I think she gave you too much time! Listen, it shouldn’t take two years to decide if you want to ask a girl out for a date.

If she was that important to you, you should have made the move and advanced the relationship.

As it stands, she probably just considered you another girlfriend she could dump all her emotions upon until she found the love of her life. You could have save yourself a lot of heartache by making a move a year and a half ago.

Women can’t be put on hold until you are certain they are into you. You must strike while the iron is hot. Don’t be a “Segurista”. Next time, don’t try to protect yourself by being friends first; find out if she likes you by asking her out. The two-year friendship/breakup thing is nothing you want to experience again.

“I’m-dating-Jesus” and other excuses why you’re not dating….

Jesus loves me this I know….. and that’s why I’m dating Him.
Unless you are Jim Caviezel’s wife, this may sound pretty weird but this is a mantra being uttered by many spiritual single waiting for God to drop their dream mate on their lap ” in his time” and hoping to avoid hurtful dating consequences. imagine if you applied this principle to your career:I believe God has one perfect well paying job already chosen for me; therefore, I have no need to worry about searching for it.
      When the time is right, I know God will bring me together with that company’s HR department, and I will miraculously have all the skills and experience needed. in the meantime. I’m not hiding in the closet avoiding all places of business, but I’m living my life without the pressure of having to look for a job. I don’t have to do anything.Sound pretty ridiculous, right? Well, many singles are over-romanticizing their relationship with God. Other excuses are “I’m just focusing on my career,” “There aren’t any good ones left.”

Now, sometimes these excuses are valid focusing on career, family or ministry in the church. But most often these excuses are heard when people are tired of making mistakes or because of “fear of rejection” which paralyze someone to the point that they won’t even accept dinner invitation from someone they are attracted to. Have a healthy perspective about dating and taking things slow is the key.

Jesus loves you so that He too wants you to get into a relationship. But again for the women, you’re not the one who’s going to pursue men, but let them pursue you, coz’ that’s what real men do, rescue the beauty, ask her out, and pursue her while protecting her.

For gals: “You don’t have to pursue men but you can get in their way- Mark Driscoll.”

Dating n’ Courtship

We’re now engaged! Praise God!

Here are some of my thoughts about getting engaged (Chosenness).

Here are the reasons why we (Ayi and I) can’t describe, label or call our relationship “dating“.

 

Dating Overview

Courtship Overview

How old are people when they start?

Varies-usually sometime during high school

When they are ready to get married usually sometime after high school.

How does it start?

Usually two people are romantically attracted to each other, and one asks the other to go out on a date.

Two people have already gotten to know each other in-group settings (church, work, volunteer ministries, etc.) And think the other person might make a good spouse. Romantic interest is usually there but is not the driving force.

How does a couple spend their time together?

Sometimes in a group dates, and sometimes at each other’s homes. Usually most of their time “dating” is spent alone together doing things like going to dinner, going on walks, seeing concerts, or movies, etc.

A couple does their “courting” in group settings, basically by spending time with each other’s families.

Role of parents and family

Lots of variety. Girl’s parents may want to meet the guy before they go out, or they may not. Most parents like to casually get to know  the person their son or daughter is seeing, and may include them in family activities.

Critical to courtship. They oversee, watch and help arrange the advancement of the relationship.

The goal

Varies. It can be simply having fun, growing close, or planning for marriage

Marriage

Please don’t get me wrong I’m not totally against Dating. Dating I believe is NOT totally wrong (But I’ll suggest group dating and refrain from getting isolated). It’s the motive and the end goal that makes courtship better, in my own opinion. There are some overlaps between the two.

At the end of the day, You’ll know whether you’re just playing hearts or own emotions. Real love commits. Love without commitment is not love at all.

Creative Date Ideas

A date with someone special can be one of the most thrilling and memorable experiences of your life. The potential for romance, laughter, excitement, closeness, , growth, communication ,greater friendship and memories is priceless.
Most people put surprisingly little effort into planning a date that is conducive to these wonderful possibilities. Oftentimes we spend our dates having dinner to various restaurants. Thus, we end up spending  too much. If your desire is to be wise in spending your money and to being a good steward of your resources, We thought of posting great dating tips in this page of the blog.
Is it possible to glorifying God during our dates? Yes of course. We hope to hear ideas from you too. God bless your relationship with your girlfriend/fiancée/spouse/friends/ parents.

We hope to get ideas from you too. Here are some ideas from I got from books and Internet.

Cheap date Ideas many times aren’t a consideration for many. In fact, most people are under the incorrect assumption that dating needs to be expensive and that fun dates and cheap date ideas for couples are impossible, or simply unacceptable.

But, the fact is that no one should has spend an arm and a leg to have a good time on a date! And many times the expensive dates can quickly become old hat. Not only that, but creative date ideas are literally all around you; you only need to stop and spend a little time thinking about what you and your date might enjoy doing together. Tailor these activities and ideas to your interests and lifestyle and you’ll find there are plenty of inexpensive date ideas you can take advantage of. Here are some of my fave’s!

Rolling Along:
rollerbladesFor those who like outdoor activities, try roller blading along a boardwalk, promenade or out-door trail. If the weather’s bad, take it indoors to a skating rink! Not only is it an active and fun way to spend some time, it can also be one of the more romantic date ideas. Just make sure you’re both comfortable on skates and take proper safety precautions. Ambulances and dates never mix well!

Driving Through:
date ideas golf

Try going to a driving range and hitting a bucket of golf balls. Maybe even make it into a contest, with a prize for the person who hits the most number of balls past a certain distance. As cheap date ideas go, you can get a lot of distance out of this one.

 

Frosty Time:
Snowflake

Great for cold winters, if this applies to you! On a cold wintery snow day, invite your partner over to build a snowman and then make hot cocoa together. If you work this one properly, it could also become one of the most romantic date ideas as well.

 

Mini Dates:
mini golfThis is one of the top fun date ideas on everyone’s list: miniature golfing. Even dating sites recommend this one. It’s almost always fun since, no matter how good you are at golf, mini golf is always a challenge. With silly wind-mills and wacky distractions, mini golf is a great way to have a good time. In fact, part of the fun is in seeing who is more inept!

 

Zoo-Lander:
zooGoing to the zoo can be one of the best cheap date ideas. Wander around outdoors, buy some balloons, ride on a carousel and watch in wonder as the lions roar. Also, you can learn more about what your partner thinks of animals, and even see a different side to their personality. The zoo is a fantastic first date idea, and is also a great setting for some good conversation.

Picnic in the Park:
cheap date ideas romantic picnic

This one is probably near the top of any free date ideas listing. After all, who doesn’t enjoy having a picnic? Going out to a nice calm setting, surrounded by nature can be very relaxing. It is also one of the more romantic date ideas, especially if the two of you prepare the food together.

Pick A Pear:
orchardWhen in season, head to a nearby apple orchard or strawberry patch to pick some fruit. When you’re done collecting your share, sit down and rest with a cup of hot chocolate or a cappuccino. Then, take your bounty home and whip up a nice seasonal, fruity dessert.

 

Sing Me a Song:
dating tips mic

If you are not afraid to laugh at yourself (and others!) you could have a blast doing karaoke. You and your date could maybe even make it a theme night by doing only particular songs (i.e. songs with the color red in them, or only heavy metal bands).

 

Go-Go-Go:
cheap date idea: go cartOne of the fastest cheap date ideas is go kart racing. Combining the elements of fun and light competitiveness can be a nice way to spend some time together. These two elements together seem to really bring people closer together. As an added bonus, you get to see how a bad a driver your date really is!

Your Artistic Side:
art museum date ideaPack up some art supplies that are easy to carry. Think watercolors, pencils, or crayons. Head to a nearby art museum or art gallery for an interesting exhibition and wander through together. Many cities have free evenings or weekends, and most art galleries are free. Once you’ve soaked up some art inside, take your inspiration outside – open up your art supplies in a nearby park and sketch and draw the things around you!

And our very own favorite,

Jogging:

With a good pair of shoes, a good MP3 player if you like (I like it best with my Nike+ app). We encourage/motivate each other to beat our old record. We feel healthier after , gives us the rights to celebrate for a sumptuous meal together!

So there you go, hope to hear from you too! Have a fun and memorable dates with your love-ones!

Love for Real or Reel? “Quest for the Real Love” (part 1 of 2)

by Christian OngtangcoHere’s a repost of my blog almost 3 years ago Apr 13, ’08

What is REAL LOVE? that’s what a lot of people we’re trying to find out.probably everyone wants to find out, and I’m not here to come as a “know-it-all kinda’ guy”. Just wanna share my hearts out.

Perhaps because we’re all a relational being as God created us to be. Our God is also a relational God. He is not just up there in a far away galaxy looking down and watching over us. God created us first and foremost to have our hearts and soul connected to Him.” The second and most powerful way he wants to express His love to you, is He wants to bring another person into your life. He wants your hearts, minds and emotions to connect” -Chip Ingram

       He wants us to understand and experience how to receive love and give love, to understand what’s sex is, where it should be and how it can be better, deeper understood and appreciated in the best way we could ever imagine. He wants us to meet the person who would be there even if all they see is our ugliness, our lack of patience and carnality. They will still smile, look at us and say ‘ I still love you anyway’.

         We’ll some of us already found that person, while some relationships aren’t in that kind of situation. while many are still in the process of looking, praying and even fasting for the “Right person at the Right time and place?”. It’s the longing of every single heart.

It has been in the almost all of the songs, movies and MTV’s. So before we present to you the answer, allow me to share to you a brief summary of World’s prescription about Romance, it’s this 4 steps to Reel Love;

Step 1 Find the right person – that means you gotta go out there on a hunt. We gotta “wear the right jeans”. And we have an entire world doing what? looking and looking and looking.

Step 2 Then fall in love – You will find this in a lot of movies. You don’t know how it happens but it magical, it’s mystical You might be just riding on the LRT and she walks by and your eyes meet. then you’re “in-love”. You might into a Starbucks or in a mall, You bumped into each other. you look he looks , there’s something about his eyes, there’s chemistry. then you go tell your friend, “I’ve met him!” (kinikilig!) Who? what? where? when? What’s his name?  how old is he? I don’t know but i met Him and I’m in love.

Step 3 You start to fix your hopes and dreams with that person  =) Your entire world now revolves around that person and trying to met him/her. He started not goingto his class, she’s not doing her homework, her other responsibilities. it’s all about getting to meet that person. Then both of you started going out and the feelings are so powerful. Can you relate on this =)

Step 4 However if that failure occur, repeat steps one,two and three. When you found out something in them is rotten, they go out with another person and unsure of getting into marriage or a long-term or perhaps lifetime commitment. Here’s their assumption. Oh it was just for a season. He was not really the right person. Then we go out and “fish” again to find that what we hope and pray to be “GPC” God’s perfect choice for us!

         We wonder How can we really find what’s God’ will is? His good pleasing and perfect will for us! Who is the right person, where can we find him/her, When can we find that person specially meant for us? We now know about the Hollywood’s prescription, How about looking at God’s prescription? God’s way of ordaining our relationships, Share me your thoughts on this …

Let‘s give our “pen” to God and let Him write our very own Love Story

Watch out for the Part 2 , How can we give Real Love?  “Quest for Real Love”

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Top Five Temptations Single People Face When Considering A Relationship

by Awaken Generation

These are the top temptations we see single people have to struggle through when considering a relationship…

#1 – Compromise! Hands down this is the first temptation…and I would argue that it is the girl that deals with this way more than the guy.  She begins wanting “Mr. Right” but will settle for “Mr. Right Now” if she perceives that all of her friends are getting married and she is not.  God has NEVER called His followers to compromise…EVER!!!  (And…ladies…if you are constantly having the defend the guy you are dating, then you know you are compromising.)

AND…ladies…if he is not pursuing you in a godly manner (which means he is not constantly trying to stick his hands down your pants) then drop him!

#2 – Believing That Marriage Will Solve The Struggles You Are Facing While Dating! Marriage is a magnifier…and if it is a small deal when you are dating then I promise it will be a BIG HONKIN’ deal when you get married!

#3 – Going Too Fast! Anyone can fool anyone for a short period of time!  You need to date someone “until the new wears off!”  If two people are in a hurry to get married then it is usually because they are trying to hide something from the other person…or because they just want to have sex!

#4 – Trying To Be The Person That The Person They Are Dating Wants Them To Be Rather Than Who They Are – If you are having to lie about who you are to date someone…then you need to break up today!  Ladies…DO NOT SAY you love football and want to go to games with him if you don’t know the difference between the offense and the defense.  Dudes, DO NOT SAY you absolutely LOVE chic flics and want to watch them for hours if doing so drives you crazy!  If you are doing things you HATE to do…but have refused to be honest and tell the other person the truth…then you are being dishonest with them.

#5 – Seeking Advice And/OR Affirmation From The Wrong People! Single people…please, if you want marriage/dating advice…then go to people who are actually married and have been so for a long time!

Why in the world would you ask a single person for marriage advice?  Why would you ask someone who has literally blown through relationship after relationship how to have a relationship?  Because they read a book?  Because they know some Bible verses?  REALLY?  If you want to know how to have a successful relationship…ask those who have one.

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My advice for single people

by Steven Furtick

There’s a lot of advice I could give to single and dating people.

How to be content in this season you’re in.
The kind of person you should be looking to marry.
Boundaries for when you’re dating.

All of those are good and necessary. But there’s something that most Christians completely miss that’s an essential principle for optimal relationships and marriages. If you don’t get this, it doesn’t matter who you date because it will be a fraction of the relationship God meant for you. And your marriage to them will be too.

Happiness is not finding the right person. It’s being the right person.

I’ve seen countless Christians sabotage their marriages not because they married the wrong person but because when they got married they weren’t the right person for the other person. Not in their chemistry, but in their character.

If two half people get together and they’re not complete in Christ, they don’t make a whole person. They subtract from each other rather than adding to each other and they become more miserable.

There’s only one half you’re responsible for right now. And that’s your half.

Stop looking for the person of your dreams and start becoming someone another person is dreaming about. Make someone else’s dreams become a reality.

A lot of single people make lists of what they want in the person they’re looking for. That’s fine. Just make sure that if the person you’re looking for had the same list, they’d find you.

You may be waiting in this season of your life for God to bring the right person.
Or you may be wondering if the person you’re dating is the right person.

He will do it.
He will reveal it.

In the meantime, be what you’re looking for.

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