God in the center of our relationships

Posts tagged ‘courtship’

What we need to teach our sons and daughters

 

Taken from Ate Nove’s twitter post

 

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On pursuing women… a word of caution

by Pastor Paolo Punzalan

 

I had breakfast with one of the guys from church.

Just like many of the single guys in church, we talked about relationships, marriage and the future.

We discussed about clarifying why we do what we do. We easily fall into the trap of searching for that thing, that person, that relationship, that career, that gadget – to bring significance and security.

In other words, another functional savior. (To read my recent blog post on this, click here.)

In the course of the conversation, we talked about courtship and getting to know a person you’d like to pursue.

I asked him, “What’s stopping you from pursuing someone?”

Several valid answers were given.

I began to tell him some of the horrific stories I’ve been told of men reeling in ladies like a sea bass and when they’re all in hook, line and sinker, the nylon line gets cut.

They end up injured, hurt and bleeding.

In other words, DEFRAUDED.

Defrauding is “starting something you cannot righteously fulfill.”

Roses, chocolates, text messages, “mwahs”, facebook status updates referring to her, dinners… and when she’s has fallen, whether intentionally or inadvertently, the man drops her like a hot potato.

The Bible says in 1 Thessalonians 4:6-7, “No one should take advantage of or exploit other believers that way. The Lord is the one who punishes people for all these things. We’ve already told you and warned you about this. God didn’t call us to be sexually immoral but to be holy.”

Men, a word of reminder: women are gifts from God. They are meant to be treasured, not displayed and dropped when you get tired of them.

Proverbs 18:22 says, “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.”

 

She deserves better

Dating n’ Courtship

We’re now engaged! Praise God!

Here are some of my thoughts about getting engaged (Chosenness).

Here are the reasons why we (Ayi and I) can’t describe, label or call our relationship “dating“.

 

Dating Overview

Courtship Overview

How old are people when they start?

Varies-usually sometime during high school

When they are ready to get married usually sometime after high school.

How does it start?

Usually two people are romantically attracted to each other, and one asks the other to go out on a date.

Two people have already gotten to know each other in-group settings (church, work, volunteer ministries, etc.) And think the other person might make a good spouse. Romantic interest is usually there but is not the driving force.

How does a couple spend their time together?

Sometimes in a group dates, and sometimes at each other’s homes. Usually most of their time “dating” is spent alone together doing things like going to dinner, going on walks, seeing concerts, or movies, etc.

A couple does their “courting” in group settings, basically by spending time with each other’s families.

Role of parents and family

Lots of variety. Girl’s parents may want to meet the guy before they go out, or they may not. Most parents like to casually get to know  the person their son or daughter is seeing, and may include them in family activities.

Critical to courtship. They oversee, watch and help arrange the advancement of the relationship.

The goal

Varies. It can be simply having fun, growing close, or planning for marriage

Marriage

Please don’t get me wrong I’m not totally against Dating. Dating I believe is NOT totally wrong (But I’ll suggest group dating and refrain from getting isolated). It’s the motive and the end goal that makes courtship better, in my own opinion. There are some overlaps between the two.

At the end of the day, You’ll know whether you’re just playing hearts or own emotions. Real love commits. Love without commitment is not love at all.

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