God in the center of our relationships

Posts tagged ‘woman’

Chasing your Woman

From the time you laid down your intentions of pursuing her. Courting her means chasing her.

And I needed to assure her that I’m serious with her. So asked my male friends to give me tips on how to  pursue someone “Paano ba manligaw?” I’ve gathered some of good tips and advices.

Here are just some things you both need to know when it comes to the relationship;

1. The man calls more

When it comes to phone calls, the man should be making most of them. Sure after a while the woman can do this too.

But the man should keep things interesting by making most of the effort. Chasing. I would try to call her just a few minutes before her work time, lunch time and after working hours. If she’s smart, she won’t return every phone call, because if she did, you might start to think she’s too easy to get a hold of.

My chase with Ayi was more exciting because I had no clue If she’ll say yes, and there’s a possibility I thought I might lose.

2. The man defines the relationship

My friend Val wrote a blog about defining your values. I also want to suggest that even if you’re in the season of courtship, men has to lead in defining the relationship’s existence. What’s his purpose? His values? Share his plans.

We know that women love to talk, and they love to define things when men lead cluelessly, women unknowingly take the men’s role of leadership. If she knows this, she’ll let you assess things, and when you think it’s time, you are the one who defines the relationship. You lead her to where next. I believe it has to be part of the chase thing. The woman doesn’t tell the man what’s going to happen next. In short man has to lead her woman.

3. The man gives more

For a woman, affection is largely related to things she gets. It’s not that all women are greedy, It’s just that cards, flowers, chocolates and notes, and even attention mean a lot to a woman. Give her thoughtful things now and then and she’ll feel loved. Overdo it and you’ll look desperate.

One powerful tip I got from my friend, Give gifts when they aren’t expected. Surprise them and don’t be too predictable , that can be boring for them.

As you pursue and chase your woman be reminded  that Men were wired Kings, Warriors, Mentors and Friend.

Letting Men lead

Men are wired to be leaders,  it’s our original blueprint.
Here are practical ways a single woman can do to let a man lead, as well as for men to serve as a reminder.
Let him plan and pay for dates.
Men must do this. 🙂
When a woman takes over this responsibility, she is teaching him to follow her lead, and that sets a precedent for the future of the relationship.

Now we don’t want to be too legalistic, if there are times we don’t have enough funds/cash, women can share the load. Men are supposed to be the providers. Allow and encourage your man to take charge.
I like bringing food (pasalubong) for Ayi’s parents , even though she kept on telling me I don’t have to. Now, I do it less often because I need to start saving up for our wedding. *wink!

Let him set the pace.
In other words, a woman should let the man move the relationship along at a healthy pace (take note healthy pace), unless of course his pace is bullet train speed, then she can tap the brakes and just follow him at a slower pace that he is going.  If he’s a good guy, he’ll slow down and wait for her. If not, maybe he wasn’t meant for her anyway.

This also means that MEN must initiate and pursue. NOT the women. If we are not letting men to do it, we are distorting God’s original blueprint for men.

Let him get the door.
It may sound like a little thing, or old fashioned, but when a young woman rushes to open the door herself, she takes away something the he could do for her. So woman would do well just to slow down as she approaches a door and let him open it for her. It’s hard to follow when you are the one in front.

Could this be good analogy for the spiritual life? Hmmm, just a thought.
Other tips from my mentor and coach Pastor D;

-Open the car door for her (on my case, taxi/fx).

-If in the jeepney, men should let the women get in first and be the first to get out to assist her as she gets off.
-Keep her on the side of the road where you can protect her if walking in the streets or highways.
-Bring her home early. It maybe good to set some curfews (the time depends on what you both agreed on).
-Always send her home, not halfway or a ride away if you’re not that sure of her safety on her way home.
-Start a savings account.
-Set clear goals and dreams for you and your future partner.
-Read books, be mentored, keep learning and Improving yourself.
-Grow spiritually. (we can’t expect our women  to do this).

Men were wired Kings, Warriors, Mentors and Friend

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How To Be Pursued By A Guy

A repost from perrynoble.com

I decided to write a follow up to this post for the ladies in how they should be pursued by a guy. (Remember ladies…it is up to him to pursue!)

#1 – Be Honest

Ladies, it is HIGHLY important for you to be incredibly honest with a guy. For example…if he asks you out & the answer is no…THEN TELL HIM NO! Don’t ask him to call you and then ignore his calls for the next week, hoping he gets the point. Just be straight up!

AND…if at any time you are feeling that the relationship is NOT progressing in the way you feel like it needs to…don’t string the guy along because you are insecure and then dump him at the first sign of possibly being able to go out with another guy. Do what is right at the right time.

One more thing…IF you are interested in him and you think he may be interested in you…it is not wrong to let the dude know that, if he asked you out, that you would say yes.

(You can get creative in the way you do this. I have a friend who got a guys calender, picked a date on it and then wrote, 7:00–”pick Jenn up and take her to dinner.” He did!! AND–several years later they actually got married!)

#2 – Be Mentally Balanced
I can’t say this enough…ladies, if a guy asks you out for coffee…then, in all seriousness, all he probably wants to do is GET COFFEE!!! Don’t over analyze coffee! I know some single ladies who will sit in a room for hours and think, “What did he mean by coffee? Did he mean we should get coffee sometime, or does he drink coffee in the morning and secretly hopes that one day I will be his wife so that I can make his coffee…I AM NOT making his coffee, who the heck does he think he is…”

Well, you get the picture.

With most guys, “Let’s have dinner” really does mean “let’s have dinner.” Don’t get all emo on the poor dude!

#3 – Be Focused

I say this a lot when talking to single ladies…but PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE do not settle.

The Bible says in Ephesians 3:20 that God is able to do more than we could ever imagine…that’s HUGE!

I have seen WAY too many ladies settle, hoping that they could “fix the dude up!” Ladies–God didn’t call you to fix him…only Christ can do that.

If you are in Christ then you are the King’s daughter…and you do not need to settle for the boy who can’t accept responsibility…you need to wait for the man who is WILLING to fight for your heart.

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