God in the center of our relationships

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Seven Ways To Destroy Your Marriage

Want to absolutely destroy your marriage?  Here are seven ways that always work!

from Pastor Perry Noble

#1 – Refuse To Communicate

Talk about the person and not to them because doing so will be awkward…this will assure destruction!  And, the silent treatment is really an amazing weapon when it comes to refusing to communicate, don’t worry about the fact that five year olds do it…just own it!

#2 – Refuse To Listen

Interrupting my spouse during conflict to immediately correct them and then trying my best to make a stronger point always helps tear a relationship to pieces!

#3 – Always Assuming The Absolute Worse About Your Spouse

As soon as I hear (or even think about) something negative about my spouse it is absolutely essential to carry that thought to its fullest illogical conclusion.  Don’t EVER ask for an explanation or clarification as more open communication will lead to a stronger marriage!

#4 – Make Sure The Goal Is To Win The Argument Rather Than Actually Settle The Dispute

If you realize you are wrong about something you must allow pride to dominate your thought life, thus unleashing a barrage of accusations that actually have nothing to do with what the original argument/discussion had to do with in the first place!  Win at all costs, even if it means saying things that hurt and wound deeply.

#5 – You Must View Your Spouse As Your Enemy, NOT Your Friend

You cannot see your spouse and you as being on the same team if you want a great marriage, you must view everything as some sort of game and make it a goal to compete with them and not actually complete them.

#6 – Focus As Much As Possible On Their Inadequacies & Shortcomings

You’ve GOT to talk about how much they are “not meeting your needs” and how they need to “step up and do better” as often as possible.  By all means do NOT take a look at yourself and what you could do to improve the marriage.  Everything MUST be blamed on them and you’ve got to see yourself as flawless and perfect.

#7 – Do NOT Have Fun Together

Heck no!!!  You need your set of friends and your spouse needs their set.  Don’t have mutual friends.  Don’t have date nights.  Don’t do anything fun as a family.  Make sure that when you are out on a date as a couple you spend as much time on your phone with someone else as possible because communication with your spouse will do nothing except make your marriage stronger.

Pickup lines of a Desperate Male

Here are some of rusted pickup lines…

What about you? Do you have your pickup lines too?

Marry your Daughter

God’s plan for your mate

Ever heard of “S.M.P. Samahan ng Malalamig ang Pasko? or Samahan ng Malalamig ang Valentines” (Christmas/Valentines lonely hearts club) I can still remember last year when I was lonely because I’m still single with no girlfriend. 😦

I’m  always amazed and overwhelmingly grateful of God’s GRACE which He always pours out for us, in how He has brought me into this season of being “in a relationship” (before I went into this relationship I’m already sure she is the one). And I can still remember almost 8 years ago, I was a member of our  youth group  (back then we use to call it “YOF or Youth on Fire”), It was february “Love month” when our youth leaders, talked about relationships.

Start praying for WHO you end up marrying. That is a brilliant idea!, I said, Then I said I may do it as early as now. Here’s what I’ve realized.

You can get to support someone spiritually and since you know what you want in a guy/girl, you KNOW exactly what to pray for, for we know how hard it is in this society (our culture) to be a man/woman who is faithful, strong in conviction, pure, honest, and a ton of other things they need to be to be rooted in God.

Yes as early as now you can start praying for your future mate, even if you haven’t met him or her yet. Start praying qualities or traits that you want your future partner to have. But never expect that the person will be perfect because that person won’t happen. Our youth leaders gave each of us an article which have made a great impact in my life. I want you to prayerfully receive and believe these God message and promise for You, yes You.

On His Plan For Your Mate

Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone, to have a deep soul relationship with another, to be loved thoroughly and exclusively.

But God says to a Christian, “No, not until you are satisfied and fulfilled and content with living, loved by me alone, with giving yourself totally and unreservedly to me alone.

I love you, my child, and until you discover that only in me is your satisfaction to be found, you will not be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you.

You will never be united with another until you are united with me, exclusive of anyone or anything else, exclusive of any other desires or longings.

“I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, and allow me to give you that most thrilling plan existing, one that you can’t imagine. I want you to have the BEST! Please allow me to bring it to you.

You just keep watching me, expecting that satisfaction, expecting the greatest things, and know that I Am. Keep learning and listening to the things I tell you. You must wait!

“Don’t be anxious. Don’t worry.

Don’t look around at the things others have received. Don’t look at the things you think you want. You just keep looking off and away up to ME, or you’ll miss what I want to show you.

“And then, when you’re ready, I’ll surprise you with a love far more wonderful than you would ever imagine.

You see, until you are ready and until the one I have for you is ready (I am working this very minute to have BOTH of you ready at the same time), until you are both satisfied exclusively with me and the life I have planned and prepared for you, you won’t be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with me…and this is perfect love.

Dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love. I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with me and to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty and perfection and love that I offer you with myself. Know that I love you utterly, I am God Almighty. Believe and be satisfied.”

–Author Unknown

Isn’t it incredible? I was amazed and I so wish I knew who wrote it. If you read it once quickly, go back and read it again, think about what it says, and think about how you date and why.

I must say that every single Christian should read this. It’s short, simple, and impactful, and can change our outlook every time Christmas and Valentines come. Don’t mind the people saying “Kasama ka nanaman sa S.M.P. Samahan ng malalamig ang Pasko” (Lonely hearts club).  God loves you so much, He is concerned of every area of your life, He wants to be part of it, including your LOVE LIFE! Yes, your very own Love life! Let that give you security and assurance that He is knows it all and He loves you so much more than your thoughts and imaginations!

Jeremiah 29:11 – “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.”

Staying fit for the future

 I’m sure you still want to see yourself playing with your future kids, aren’t you?

One time, I asked Ayi this question while we we’re having our dinner date in a Fast food restaurant (budgeting). Just right after seeing a couple voraciously “pigged-out” all their food next to our table. The reason why we now watch what we eat. We still want to jog, play, run and do sports with our kids in the future.  On ordinary days, I would prefer to have No-Beef-and-pork diet. Look don’t get me wrong, Everybody like eating, I’m not saying you punish yourself & deprive yourself with desserts etc. Just do it in moderation.

I long to see myself carrying my future wife in my arms effortlessly , doing sports with my future kids , run a marathon even in my forties and by that time it’s either I’m too old/tired/lazy to be able to do it or Be excited and start preparing for it now. Because we live in a culture (Philippines) wherein food is part of every fellowship, dates and spending time together. Especially during Christmas & New Year’s eve. We find ourselves in parties  where food is the” highlight of the night”.

If you’re not yet married, do it for your future spouse and future kids.

If you already have kid/s, do it for your Spouse and future grand-kids.

By the time we’re old. and its just us and our spouse again (speaking hypothetically). We don’t want to just sit-down and try grow old for the rest of our lives, do we? We sometimes find ourselves guilty too. Btw, we’re also speaking to ourselves. We’ve just started jogging and make sure we have our enough sleep and regular exercise.

We need to remind ourselves to watch what we eat. Of course we could have a once in a while buffet, occasional “eat-all-you can” lunch or dinner, but let’s not forget, too much of something if not everything is bad enough. If it’s becoming a habit or a pattern. You might need to consider asking for help. In light what we want to see ourselves doing with our future kids, also with our future grandparents. Let’s stay fit.

Just like in our finances, knowledge, relationships. It’s another way of honoring God…by taking care of our bodies. Remember Jesus was a carpenter. He isn’t skinny or a weakling-underdog-kinda-hero. I believe he’s worked hard and fit enough to travel long distances during his ministry.

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Is PDA (Public Display of Affection) ok?

One night, while seating comfortably in my seat in a public car on my way to see a friend, a couple all of a sudden started kissing and hugging each other in a very uncomfortable way which has been disturbing with the rest of the passenger of that car. I started praying and thought of writing this blog.

Please don’t get me wrong, I think PDA is NOT totally wrong but NOT totally right. Teachers and coaches sometimes used this term to inform students that they were getting too cozy with their girlfriend or boyfriend. Some couples are more affectionate than others. They feel that they display their love for one another by holding hands and touching. Other married couples feel that they can get cozy in the privacy of their homes without having to do so in public. They prefer to keep their affections at a more private level.

Ayi and I would always grin at each other whenever we see couples draped across one another in restaurants, driving down the road, in parks, and shopping centers we guard our hearts from pride or think we are holier because we don’t do what they do.

I’m sure we have all probably been in a situation when we are in a public location and two adults soon catch our eye. These adults are caught in the mist of a very passion kiss or with wandering hands that the public should not be allowed to see. A lot of them might be unaware or ignorant that when it’s done some people to feel uncomfortable.

I once asked Ayi, Should public locations be allowed to ask couples to leave due to an OVER display of public affection?
I like how a friend of mine described it “Public displays of affection can be inappropriate depending on where you are and how far you go with it.”

Here’s from a blog I read,  “Basically, the point I am trying to get across is that PDA-ing is not always okay. In fact, if more couples actually paid attention to how others react to their displays of affection, they would notice that many people become exasperated or look down upon them because of it.”

“You don’t have to be climbing all over each other or putting on some kind of a sex show to prove you appreciate your partner, being comfortable enough to stroll down Grafton Street hand-in-hand is a better indicator that your relationship is solid.” says Anne Sexton.

I know of a couple who never even hold hands when in public, but very expressive with their affection in other ways (words, service, time and gifts). Should we “cookie-cut” it with every relationship? Do Ayi and I PDA? Yes, for us “HHWW” or “Holding hands while walking” is ok. We make it a goal not to make the people around us uncomfortable.

We remind each other “Everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial.” There’s a time for everything. If your a MARRIED couple,  It’s our goal as a couple to make people comfortable whenever we’re around.

“…But set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity.”- 1 Timothy 4:12We want to here from you? What do you think about P.D.A?

*Please note that this post is for couples in a relationship.

If you like this post, please don’t hesitate to share (help spread the message), tweet, comment or subscribe to our blog posts. We hope to hear from you too. Thanks and God bless you!

What does romance mean to you?

by Sherry Holetzky

What is your idea of romance? Does it mean passion or sensuousness or do you think of it more in terms of thoughtful expressions of love? Some people relate romance to sexual experiences, like the torrid, swept away relationships described in dime store romance novels. That isn’t my idea of romance.
For me, romance means thoughtfulness. It is the way we show each other the depths of our love and passion by showing how well we know the other person and doing special things for one another that no one else would think to do. It is personal gestures, not just candlelight or roses, but gestures that mean something, that say something, often without the use of spoken words. A look, a touch, a knowing nod or sigh, an extended hand, and arm around the shoulder, a gentle kiss on the cheek at just the right moment.
It can also be whisking your spouse away from it all when he or she needs it the most. It can be an overnight getaway to nurture your relationship away from other influences or demands. Romance means different things to different people, but I have never felt more romanced than when my husband does something special, to make me feel special, something thoughtful that he came up with that is just for me.
I try to return the favor, and while some of the things we do for each other might not seem too romantic to other people, they work for us. Sometimes it isn’t even a gesture, but a statement, a sentiment, a word. My husband seems to know me very well, at least most of the time, and when he knows just what to say or do to make me feel better or make me feel special, I can’t think of anything that could be more romantic.

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