God in the center of our relationships

Posts tagged ‘love’

Love for Real or Reel? “Quest for the Real Love” (part 1 of 2)

by Christian OngtangcoHere’s a repost of my blog almost 3 years ago Apr 13, ’08

What is REAL LOVE? that’s what a lot of people we’re trying to find out.probably everyone wants to find out, and I’m not here to come as a “know-it-all kinda’ guy”. Just wanna share my hearts out.

Perhaps because we’re all a relational being as God created us to be. Our God is also a relational God. He is not just up there in a far away galaxy looking down and watching over us. God created us first and foremost to have our hearts and soul connected to Him.” The second and most powerful way he wants to express His love to you, is He wants to bring another person into your life. He wants your hearts, minds and emotions to connect” -Chip Ingram

       He wants us to understand and experience how to receive love and give love, to understand what’s sex is, where it should be and how it can be better, deeper understood and appreciated in the best way we could ever imagine. He wants us to meet the person who would be there even if all they see is our ugliness, our lack of patience and carnality. They will still smile, look at us and say ‘ I still love you anyway’.

         We’ll some of us already found that person, while some relationships aren’t in that kind of situation. while many are still in the process of looking, praying and even fasting for the “Right person at the Right time and place?”. It’s the longing of every single heart.

It has been in the almost all of the songs, movies and MTV’s. So before we present to you the answer, allow me to share to you a brief summary of World’s prescription about Romance, it’s this 4 steps to Reel Love;

Step 1 Find the right person – that means you gotta go out there on a hunt. We gotta “wear the right jeans”. And we have an entire world doing what? looking and looking and looking.

Step 2 Then fall in love – You will find this in a lot of movies. You don’t know how it happens but it magical, it’s mystical You might be just riding on the LRT and she walks by and your eyes meet. then you’re “in-love”. You might into a Starbucks or in a mall, You bumped into each other. you look he looks , there’s something about his eyes, there’s chemistry. then you go tell your friend, “I’ve met him!” (kinikilig!) Who? what? where? when? What’s his name?  how old is he? I don’t know but i met Him and I’m in love.

Step 3 You start to fix your hopes and dreams with that person  =) Your entire world now revolves around that person and trying to met him/her. He started not goingto his class, she’s not doing her homework, her other responsibilities. it’s all about getting to meet that person. Then both of you started going out and the feelings are so powerful. Can you relate on this =)

Step 4 However if that failure occur, repeat steps one,two and three. When you found out something in them is rotten, they go out with another person and unsure of getting into marriage or a long-term or perhaps lifetime commitment. Here’s their assumption. Oh it was just for a season. He was not really the right person. Then we go out and “fish” again to find that what we hope and pray to be “GPC” God’s perfect choice for us!

         We wonder How can we really find what’s God’ will is? His good pleasing and perfect will for us! Who is the right person, where can we find him/her, When can we find that person specially meant for us? We now know about the Hollywood’s prescription, How about looking at God’s prescription? God’s way of ordaining our relationships, Share me your thoughts on this …

Let‘s give our “pen” to God and let Him write our very own Love Story

Watch out for the Part 2 , How can we give Real Love?  “Quest for Real Love”

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Love hurts?

“It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

–  1 Corinthians 13:7

Top Five Temptations Single People Face When Considering A Relationship

by Awaken Generation

These are the top temptations we see single people have to struggle through when considering a relationship…

#1 – Compromise! Hands down this is the first temptation…and I would argue that it is the girl that deals with this way more than the guy.  She begins wanting “Mr. Right” but will settle for “Mr. Right Now” if she perceives that all of her friends are getting married and she is not.  God has NEVER called His followers to compromise…EVER!!!  (And…ladies…if you are constantly having the defend the guy you are dating, then you know you are compromising.)

AND…ladies…if he is not pursuing you in a godly manner (which means he is not constantly trying to stick his hands down your pants) then drop him!

#2 – Believing That Marriage Will Solve The Struggles You Are Facing While Dating! Marriage is a magnifier…and if it is a small deal when you are dating then I promise it will be a BIG HONKIN’ deal when you get married!

#3 – Going Too Fast! Anyone can fool anyone for a short period of time!  You need to date someone “until the new wears off!”  If two people are in a hurry to get married then it is usually because they are trying to hide something from the other person…or because they just want to have sex!

#4 – Trying To Be The Person That The Person They Are Dating Wants Them To Be Rather Than Who They Are – If you are having to lie about who you are to date someone…then you need to break up today!  Ladies…DO NOT SAY you love football and want to go to games with him if you don’t know the difference between the offense and the defense.  Dudes, DO NOT SAY you absolutely LOVE chic flics and want to watch them for hours if doing so drives you crazy!  If you are doing things you HATE to do…but have refused to be honest and tell the other person the truth…then you are being dishonest with them.

#5 – Seeking Advice And/OR Affirmation From The Wrong People! Single people…please, if you want marriage/dating advice…then go to people who are actually married and have been so for a long time!

Why in the world would you ask a single person for marriage advice?  Why would you ask someone who has literally blown through relationship after relationship how to have a relationship?  Because they read a book?  Because they know some Bible verses?  REALLY?  If you want to know how to have a successful relationship…ask those who have one.

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Why the World is wrong about Marriage

by Jen Smidt

Flipping through a popular women’s magazine recently, I came across an article on marriage.

Since I am married and regularly teach on marriage, I was interested in what advice today’s culture would bestow upon me. I was not surprised and more than a little disturbed. While I did not expect that biblically sound wisdom would flow from the glossy pages, I did hope for something more than a completely self-absorbed, wicked plan for marital bliss.

“Good Advice”

I found myself immediately refuting each point with truth from Scripture–realizing that God, much more so than culture, has graciously shaped and redeemed my understanding of his purpose for marriage. The article claimed that couples stay in love by taking chances. The 3 suggested risks were:

  1. Call a time-out. Apparently, the happiest couples spend much of their time apart.
  2. Have another man in your life. The article claimed that friendships with men allow you to “experience that rush of newness.”
  3. Satisfy yourself. Enough said.

Good advice is just that…a suggestion that may or may not work. In the case of this advice, I’d call it downright dangerous. Spending large chunks of time away from your husband, flirting with other men, and seeking selfish pleasures are invitations to disaster.

God calls us to a vision and purpose for marriage that is radically different than how the world views this union.

Good News

Let me call you to something different than what this magazine offers: Good News. Here’s the revised version of the above list grounded in the good news of the gospel:

  1. Call a time-out with God. “I love those who love me, and those who seek me diligently find me” (Proverbs 8:17). As both a daily habit and in the midst of conflict, the happiest couples have regular time with God. They pray, seek, study and listen for the wisdom that comes from above. They look for ways to build oneness, not distance.
  2. Have another man in your life…his name is Jesus. “The friendship of the LORD is for those who fear him, and he makes known to them his covenant” (Psalm 25:14). Friendship with Jesus is the only possibility for a life reconciled to God and a marriage that reflects his covenant made with us: I will never leave you or forsake you.
  3. Deny yourself. Over and over and over. Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me” (Matthew 16:24). The greatest threat to your marriage is you. Seeking to satisfy yourself first is a surefire marital destruction plan. Dying to self is rooted in living in Christ. He alone makes self-sacrifice possible and pleasurable in marriage.

God calls us to a vision and purpose for marriage that is radically different than how the world views this union. May we be married couples that reject the world’s shallow and selfish advice for marriage and embrace God’s glorious call to selfless, Jesus-filled marriages.

My advice for single people

by Steven Furtick

There’s a lot of advice I could give to single and dating people.

How to be content in this season you’re in.
The kind of person you should be looking to marry.
Boundaries for when you’re dating.

All of those are good and necessary. But there’s something that most Christians completely miss that’s an essential principle for optimal relationships and marriages. If you don’t get this, it doesn’t matter who you date because it will be a fraction of the relationship God meant for you. And your marriage to them will be too.

Happiness is not finding the right person. It’s being the right person.

I’ve seen countless Christians sabotage their marriages not because they married the wrong person but because when they got married they weren’t the right person for the other person. Not in their chemistry, but in their character.

If two half people get together and they’re not complete in Christ, they don’t make a whole person. They subtract from each other rather than adding to each other and they become more miserable.

There’s only one half you’re responsible for right now. And that’s your half.

Stop looking for the person of your dreams and start becoming someone another person is dreaming about. Make someone else’s dreams become a reality.

A lot of single people make lists of what they want in the person they’re looking for. That’s fine. Just make sure that if the person you’re looking for had the same list, they’d find you.

You may be waiting in this season of your life for God to bring the right person.
Or you may be wondering if the person you’re dating is the right person.

He will do it.
He will reveal it.

In the meantime, be what you’re looking for.

Advice for single people

by Shane Duffey here are some quotes from him…
• singles – have you ever considered praying that God would literally shape the eyes of your future mate to love exactly who you are?
• singles – have you ever asked Him to shape the mind of your future mate to complement and complete you instead of mimic you?
• singles – have you ever asked God to prepare your heart from the unexpected… instead of expected Him to give you what you think u want?
• single men – ball up and ask a girl out
• single men – treat all single ladies with respect (& as a friend once told me) lead her away from the curse instead of toward your bedroom
• single men – quit hanging with girls you have no intention of pursuing just to get your emotional jollies
• single men – ACT LIKE A MAN and not a middle schooler… they’ll be time enough for that once your married
• single ladies – quit thinking that just b/c a guy asked you out that he wants to marry you… just stop that!
• single ladies – stop rejecting date offers from guys just b/c God didn’t put a big sign over him that says “This is THE one”!
• single ladies – stop talking about a guy you may like with your other single friends b/c they’ll impose all their past hurt on him
• single people of all sexes – unless you want to live in arranged marriage countries… go on some dates … just act like you know Jesus
DANG!!!

In love forever?

by Christian Ongtangco

Everybody is asking?

“Is it even possible, for two people to be in love and stay happy together forever?”

In spite of what you the many couples breaking here and there, maybe you have experienced ending up a relationship with someone else but still there’s something in you, in me (us) that thinks its possible.. You think and I also think it possible to happen to us. Maybe someday, someway it could happen.

Yes we got friends, best friends, mothers, fathers,  batch mates, church mates, acquaintances but there’s  still this desire for us to love or be loved with someone romantically and intimately. This I believe is God’s design.

There’s still this desire in our heart looking for somebody whom we can be intimate with and love forever. But another we asks ourselves is “Will it happen? I think it could, but the probability , I’m not sure.

Here’s what it takes to be emotionally equipped before one enter into a long –term relationship,

You need to grow up in a home/environment where you get respect, encouragement, comfort, security , support, acceptance , approval , appreciation, attention , affection .

Can you relate? If you said “no’, welcome to the club. If that’s what it takes, what are the odds for us to love and get into marriage and live happily ever after?

Now that we fall-in-love with someone, we find ourselves asking “Is he/she going to give me respect, encouragement, comfort, security, support, acceptance, approval, appreciation, attention , affection ?

If that person didn’t receive all of that chances are that person will try to demand and expect those things from that person whom they choose to fall-in-love with.

Here’s the truth, most of us didn’t grew up in a family or in an environment where we have all of those things mentioned.  So we try to say “You complete me!”  and expect the other person to complete what we’ve been missing where in the first place that person is incomplete too.

Incomplete man + Incomplete woman = Incomplete Marriage

Here’s the truth, no one can make you feel complete apart from Christ.

It’s either we get frustrated in trying suck the life out of our partner and end up annoyed and dissatisfied (probable reason a lots of relationships don’t last long).  For some they try to choose and select, try to find the “right’ person for us. But learning to be the “right” person is something we seldom think about.

Here’s what I’ve got from my pastor,  “ Only Christ can complete us, no one else.” Not even the cutest guy/girl, richest, famous, most intelligent person can satisfy the deep longing we’re trying to find in romance. We wouldn’t know “Real love” and express or give it unless we ourselves haven’t experienced or received it from Christ Jesus.

Colossians 2:10 says “and God has made you complete in Christ. Christ is in charge of every ruler and authority.(God’s word translation).

We can’t be complete in Christ unless we have a right relationship with Christ Jesus our Lord and saviour.

So let me go back with my question “Is it even possible, for two people to be in love and stay happy together forever? My answer is Yes and No.

No, if it’s just the two of them, they will just try to suck the life out of each other from a limited and imperfect person who can’t and will never be able to complete and satisfy us.

Yes, if the Lord Jesus Christ is WITH them. He is IN their relationship. If He is the source we will can give, and never ran out of something to give. For He is limitless, He will never ran out of things we need, in Him we are complete, In Him we can find all that we’re looking for.

Love becomes not just a noun but a verb. It not self-seeking, it’s focuses more on giving than receiving, of serving not just being served. The other person becomes the priority.

Let me share our favorite verse found in Ecclesiastes 4:12 and it’s my prayer for you and your partner

” Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. “ With Jesus in the center of our relationship nothing can go against us.

If you like this post, please don’t hesitate to share, tweet, comment or subscribe to  our blog posts. We hope to hear from you too. Thanks and God bless you!

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