In my one year of being in a relationship with Ayi (my fiancée) and spending time with her women friends, I came up with this list;
– Symphatize; don’t fix (hearing is not equals listening)
– Buy more flowers (never stop pursuing her)
– Take her out to dinner. (memories to remember)
– Take her shopping (have a company)
– Tell her a song reminds him of her. (this can be romantic!)
– Give her cards and notes (in other words be thoughtful)
– Spend more time with her (be a friend)
– Smell good (needs no further explanation)
Here’s a question from a guy who is a day late in asking her out,
” I’m a guy and have a friend girl who lives in the same building as me, and we hang outa lot. She calls , SMS or IM’s me every day and tells me everything about her day. It makes me feel really close to her. We’ve been hanging out, doing lunch, dinner, talking, etc., for about two years, and yesterday she told me me that she had a date with this new guy that just moved in next door. I was totally shocked. I thought that our friendship was working toward something. Where’d did I go wrong? Why would she do this to me?”
Do what to you to? Wait two year for you to get the nerve to ask her out on a real date? I think she gave you too much time! Listen, it shouldn’t take two years to decide if you want to ask a girl out for a date.
If she was that important to you, you should have made the move and advanced the relationship.
As it stands, she probably just considered you another girlfriend she could dump all her emotions upon until she found the love of her life. You could have save yourself a lot of heartache by making a move a year and a half ago.
Women can’t be put on hold until you are certain they are into you. You must strike while the iron is hot. Don’t be a “Segurista”. Next time, don’t try to protect yourself by being friends first; find out if she likes you by asking her out. The two-year friendship/breakup thing is nothing you want to experience again.
– He asks you out.
– He tells you he is interested.
– He calls you when he says he will ( or close to it).
– He wants to be with you.
– No matter what else is going on in his life, he will do all he can to be with you.
related post – Sure Signs a Guy ISN’T Interested
He doesn’t ask you out.
He never tells you he’s interested.
He is too busy to do things (or too stressed,too worried, too hurt, too whatever).
related post – Sure Signs a Guy IS Interested
Jesus loves me this I know….. and that’s why I’m dating Him.
Unless you are Jim Caviezel’s wife, this may sound pretty weird but this is a mantra being uttered by many spiritual single waiting for God to drop their dream mate on their lap ” in his time” and hoping to avoid hurtful dating consequences. imagine if you applied this principle to your career:I believe God has one perfect well paying job already chosen for me; therefore, I have no need to worry about searching for it.
When the time is right, I know God will bring me together with that company’s HR department, and I will miraculously have all the skills and experience needed. in the meantime. I’m not hiding in the closet avoiding all places of business, but I’m living my life without the pressure of having to look for a job. I don’t have to do anything.Sound pretty ridiculous, right? Well, many singles are over-romanticizing their relationship with God. Other excuses are “I’m just focusing on my career,” “There aren’t any good ones left.”
Now, sometimes these excuses are valid focusing on career, family or ministry in the church. But most often these excuses are heard when people are tired of making mistakes or because of “fear of rejection” which paralyze someone to the point that they won’t even accept dinner invitation from someone they are attracted to. Have a healthy perspective about dating and taking things slow is the key.
Jesus loves you so that He too wants you to get into a relationship. But again for the women, you’re not the one who’s going to pursue men, but let them pursue you, coz’ that’s what real men do, rescue the beauty, ask her out, and pursue her while protecting her.
For gals: “You don’t have to pursue men but you can get in their way- Mark Driscoll.”
Last night I fetch my fiancée nurse Ayi from the hospital to send her home.
She should be out by 10pm but something unexpected happened with her patient that why she was dismissed late and I was able to send her home around 12 midnight.
We really made the most out of our traveling time while we were on the cab on our way to her home. We talked and shared about the thing that has happened on that day, good and sad news, we talked about my latest blog and our plans and goals for this season.
We really had a great time together even in just less than one hour ride. It’s as if we just meet each other recently, we could stare and smile at each other’s face all day and all night. But I need to leave , need to rest too. And so I had my forehead near her forehead to say my goodbye. then I stared at her lips and told her, ” You know what, I could kiss you now but I won’t. I could figure out good reasons why I could kiss you now but I won’t present them because of the following reasons;
1. I love my future wife more than my fiancée.
2. Until we get married, she is not yet mine.
3. I want to honor and treat her as she deserve.
4. I love God and I want us to be pure and holy before him.
These are all good reasons why I didn’t kiss her yet that night. One can say there’s nothing wrong with a kiss, its not a mortal sin. But my motivation could be because we want to take PRIDE of having “it” as one of my accomplishments (to look and feel good that we’re pure, holy and obedient Christians) that the first we did “IT” was only on the very night the minister says “you may now kiss the bride” BUT we miss the real point of WHY abstain from premarital sex and have our first kiss on the altar.
Following Pastor D’s example,
“… Because she is a daughter of God. Jesus gave His life for Ayi and Jesus is entrusting her to me. I want to treat Ayi with love and respect as Christ loved her by totally relying on the GRACE of God and not on my own because I know left to myself I , I CAN’T stay pure and holy without Him in the center (first priority) of our relationship. Without His GRACE, our righteousness and good deeds are all “filthy rags” in His sight.”
Inspired by Pastor D’s blog. “The first kiss, the virgin and how I totally missed the point”.