God in the center of our relationships

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A Love letter for Singles :)

I was a bit SHY (shy matalino, shy maganda, shy mayaman! wenk wenk wenk) at first to write a post on LOVE for BALENTAYMS, it just seems so painfully redundant to do so. And honestly, I think I need to hold back on the cheesiness that has corrupted this blog in the past few weeks. So if you are sick of all my mushy posts, please do me a favor and click the X button on your screen. Save yourselves, pleaaaase!!! Hehehe 🙂 But after reading all your honest, heartfelt letters.. I simply had to write a post for all my wonderful readers who took the time to open up to me. So I opened a bag of chocolates to fuel the romance in me! Naks! I’m just as clueless as you guys, but I’ll try my best! So today, I’ve decided to dedicate this post to all the single ladies (and boys, too!). Valentines is always the day for couples to broadcast their lovey-doveyness (and yes, kasama kami dun! SORRY) and sadly, being SINGLE is not equally celebrated on this day. In my opinion, LOVE IS FOR ALL..whether you’re single, taken, or in a complicated relationship..you should be able to celebrate LOVE!
Just like most of you, there was a time when I was happily single and not too excited to mingle. Well-intentioned friends were setting me up with all their eligible bachelor buds, guys were sending me gifts and asking me out. Politely I declined all of their requests. Not because I was a Valentine scrooge or because I thought too highly of myself, it was just not the right time for me. Syempre sa simula, it was so flattering for me. It was like getting an “EXCELLENT” stamp from your teacher when all your other classmates had to settle for the “SATISFACTORY” stamp! For any single girl, this would be a dream scenario. To suddenly feel so in-demand and wanted..it’s such a big ego boost and completely understandable why some girls bask in the glory and attention.  From the outside, it looked like such a enviable position to be in..but truthfully, it wasn’t really a happy place. So, I chose to wait and not to date. It was a decision of self-preservation, to keep myself worthy of the person I would finally choose one day.  It didn’t feel right to be in a relationship “just because” and so I didn’t want to waste my time or any other person’s time as well. Most of the guys who asked me out were quality dudes, real fine gentlemen and I thought I would be doing them a disservice by dating them knowing that it would be headed nowhere. I wanted time to be with me, myself and I.. and most of all, I needed time to be with God.
Being single, my dear friends, is a true gift. It is an opportunity to align your needs and desires, it’s a time to  define your self-worth, to understand what kind of person you are and the person you want to become, and it is also the perfect time to prep yourself for that person God has set aside for you! If in your singleness, you find fulfillment, security, and peace..then that’s a blessing. But if you find yourself filled with angst, hatred, and riddled with envy towards others..then obviously, being this kind of single is a curse. The same formula goes for those who are in relationships too. It’s always better to choose the first path.
I remember sitting in a restaurant and listening to Bob Dylan’s To Make You Feel My Love one rainy evening. Instead of feeling sad that I had no one to sing that song to, I actually felt excited!!! My heart leaped knowing that there will be a man professing all these things to me one day! Someone will love me fiercely and bravely too. I claimed it, I asked for that from God. I didn’t care how long it would take..I knew a love like that was worth the wait. This song also reminded me of the kind of love God wants for you and me.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” 
                                                                      1 Corinthians 13:4–8
This was the love that intrigued me! This was the kind of love that made me believe in the good that could come my way. After the feelings of hurt, betrayal, and abandonment from my past..I craved for all these promises in the Bible! I didn’t have to look for a boyfriend, I knew that this kind of love was already all around me..I saw it in PEOPLE each and every day. I saw it in my parents, my best friends, my little students, my coworkers, our household help! I was loved and I had an opportunity to give this kind of love back! One thing I appreciated most about my friends and family is that they never made me feel inadequate in my singleness. Instead of pushing me to settle down like any other girl my age, they supported my “waiting” and encouraged me to never settle for “pwede na”. Because of this, I never felt pressured to get hitched just because it was never really forced upon me. I was in such a loving and accepting environment. Swerte talaga ako.
In my blessed singleness, when I was happy and fulfilled on my own, this was the time I re-met my husband-to-be. The time that I was no longer looking for love, love somehow found me. We knew of each other since I was in the first grade. We went to the same small school, had the same circle of friends, hung out at the same canteen..but never ever got the chance to really become chummy-chummy. Just thinking of the many times we passed each other across the hallway, the thousands of flag ceremonies we stood about a meter apart, all those field trips to Nayong Pilipino, CCP, and Luneta on the same school bus..just two regular kids completely oblivious to the beautiful life we would be sharing together in the future. It’s almost as if God was playing with us, keeping us so close together for all those years, causing us to live parallel to each other even if we chose separate paths in life. The last time I saw Patrick was when I was a chubby 12 year old and he was a tiny, awkward 13 year old. In my mom’s own words “Ayyy..Patrick was the cutest and whitest boy! He was the most mabango kid in the whole ICA!” HAHAHA! After 15 years, we RE-MET each other at a friend’s birthday. I remember seeing him again for the first time and telling myself “How come I didn’t get the memo?!?! Since when did Patrick Filart become such a hottie?!?!” I was 50-50. HAPPY that I met a really wonderful guy and BUMMED that I met a really wonderful guy. I wanted to kick myself in the butt, “There goes your brilliant no dating plan, Ms Smarty Pants!”. But I just knew in my heart he was different because after a string of justifiable and convincing NO, NO, NOs to others..saying YES to Patrick seemed like the easiest thing to do! My heart was ready for him. It didn’t feel like a gamble, it felt like a wise investment. Our first date was on Valentine’s Day of 2011. Not only did I get re-acquainted with an old friend, I also got re-acquainted with God through Patrick. My love for Christ was rekindled thanks to Patrick’s influence and encouragement, and that to me is his greatest gift.
So to all my single friends, believe in the kind of love that God has destined for you. It doesn’t have to happen now or tomorrow..it will happen when you are ready for it. If your heart has been broken into a million pieces, God won’t just piece it back together..HE will actually reward you with a brand new heart! A fresh start to love again! 🙂 So this early on, I urge you to pray for the person you will choose to give that new heart to. If you feel numb, jaded, and tired of love..then pray for God to give you that burning desire back. I apologize for ra-ra-ra-ring you all to LOVE, I sound like a loved-up crazy cheerleader! Hahaha! But just as my parents and friends prayed unceasingly for my happiness, never grew tired of giving me words of encouragement, and always managed to make me feel special and loved..I would like to do the same for all of you. I may not know you all personally, but I do wish each of you the joy of finding God’s love 🙂

Male and Female bonding

        Male bonding         |       Female bonding

watching tv           |              talking
playing ball            |     shopping while talking
destroying something     |      create while talking
building something       |   going to a movie while talking
driving something      |       eating while talking

Yeng Constantino

Nice vid by Yeng Constantino 🙂

Shakespeare in Love?

Nowadays, It’s popular to hear “pickup lines” or cheesy lines in our country. You would hear it almost everywhere! Try to tell a starry-eyed young man that he is not really in love but that he is only infatuated and you’ll have a hard time trying to convince him.He can tell you stories, pick-up lines, sing you songs and read to you poems  about “true love.” 🙂

He knows what he feels, and it feels great. Nothing can stop him. But he better enjoy the roller-coaster ride while it lasts, because it has predictable end point.

If there is one fact that I would want to share in this blog with full assurance, it is this:
                             “The excitement of infatuation is  never a permanent condition.”
Many of you may not agree with this statement. Just a little bit of history, Did you know that the idea of marriage based on romantic affection is a very recent development in human affairs? Before A.D. 1200, weddings were arranged by the families of the bride and groom, and it never occurred to anyone that they were supposed to “fall in love.” now don’t get me wrong, that doesn’t mean no emotions at all.
In fact, the concept of romantic love was actually popularized by William Shakespeare.

Now don’t get me wrong. Romantic love is fun and it feels good but If you expect to live on the top of that mountain, year after year,  you can forget it! Emotions swing from high to low to high in unpredictable rhythm, and since romantic excitement is an emotion, it too will certainly vary or change because it’s temporary. If the thrill of sexual encounter is identified as genuine love, chances are, you’re disillusioned, don’t be surprised if disappointments, hurts and pain will one day show up at your front door. We won’t allow this to happen.
My heart goes out for the many young couples, “fall in love with love” on the first date – and lock themselves into marriage before their natural swing of emotions dropped or go on a dip. Then one day they’ll wake up one morning without that neat feeling and conclude that” love” has died. In reality, it was never there in the first place. I thank God for friends and mentors who were there to coach and help me see the difference with “Love at first sight” or Infatuation with real Love.Thank you Lord!
Probably you’re saying, Are you kidding me?
I’m not kidding , sad and disheartening to say , but they were fooled by an emotional high.
Lots of teenagers, young men and women were trapped by this type of “romantic love”.

Truth is, even when a man and woman live each other deeply and genuinely, they will find themselves supercharged on one occasion and emotionally bland on another. You see, their love is not defined by highs and lows, regardless of the circumstances , whatever happens, fight for it, to stay in love.
Unfortunately, not everyone agrees with the concept of “one-woman-man” or “one man woman” or what we call, permanent marriage.
Because genuine love is a decision. It is rooted in a commitment of the will.
Real love, is an expression of the deepest appreciation for another human being; it is an intense awareness of his or her needs and longings for the past, present and future. It is unselfish and giving and caring. It’s something you don’t fall into, rather, you grew into it. again Love is a decision.

 

Related posts;

Love vs. Infatuation

Real Love part 1

Real Love part 2

G.R.A.C.E.

I am a person who wants to do everything right. As much as possible, whenever I would do a project or a task, I want it to be by the book. It somehow gives me the assurance that if I follow a certain rule or standard, everything will work out just right. And being the conscientious type that I am, I often want to do things within my own comfort zone and try to avoid change or conflict.

When I entered a relationship with Christian, the man whom I really honor and admire- and now is my fiancé’ (Thank You Lord!)  those strong beliefs that I have with how things “should” work out was totally challenged. I believe God used him to remind me a lot of things. At the beginning of our relationship, we immediately set our own boundaries when it comes to frequency of seeing each other, physical boundaries, curfews and all that we learned from the books we’ve read during our courtship season. It really felt good especially for me as I thought that we’re doing it right. But as we grew in our relationship together, God just  rebuked me and revealed to me that I have that “secret pride” and that I am relying on my own “self-righteousness.”  I was just humbled and amazed as to how God used my failures and weaknesses in our relationship to bring me a “bit “closer to understanding how his GRACE works. I just got reminded that apart from His grace, I CANNOT really do anything good. And if we would still try to live life by our own self-righteousness, only 2 things can happen:  either we will become PROUD because suddenly we thought that we are better than everyone else because we are doing it “right” or it can bring a of feeling guilt, disappointment, and frustration if I fail to “strictly” follow our own standards.

Image

Ahhhhhh..GRACE!!!As much as I want to explain it to you, I really cannot; because I don’t know how to explain it, Why? because I myself don’t fully understand how it works.  When Jesus died for me when I was  at my worst is grace. The fact that I am breathing right now and writing this blog is grace. What I just know is that GRACE doesn’t really have to be understood. It’s something we need to EXPERIENCE and EMBRACE everyday as we experience it.  Have a grace-filled week to you!!!

Dance with God

Saw this on facebook.

This is for all the single ladies or anyone! 🙂

Dance with God and He’ll let the perfect man cut in.

BB the bear on Relationships

Meet our new officemate BB!

He has really been a blessing to our church ever since his owner Bobby brought him.

Our church Victory Greenhills is now his new home.

BB has helped us in our Computer system,
BB has inspired our youth to disciple more of their fellow students,
BB has reminded us of the Gospel,
And now BB in relationships!

BB is beary…

1. Approachable – you can come to him all the time. Won’t get mad at you.
2. Available– He’s always there for you, won’t leave you no matter what.
BB’s “bear hug” is always for free unconditional love for everyone who would come to him.
3. Fun-loving– BB taught me that life is not just all about work, rules, exchange of empty words.                    Setting time for recreation and having fun together is a must in any valued relationships.
4. Friend– He will be there if you need a company, someone to play with.
5. Good listener– He’ll listen to you and won’t lose his focus, and he’ll make sure you’ll get to finish all that you have to say.

These qualities would help us a lot in dealing with the people dear to us.
E-hugs! 🙂

See Gospel according to BB!

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