God in the center of our relationships

by Christian Ongtangco

We’ve finally arrived to the 2nd part of this blog series I wrote 3 years ago, ( see part 1)

I was in the hospital while writing this down, I wander why do we call the sick people “patient” was it because they have to wait first in order get treatment and healing they need? I know you already have an idea of the  mostly quoted verse in the Bible when it comes to “Love” in 1st Cor.13:4, The first characteristic of Love is Patient…. and it goes on in saying that it is kind, self-less, it trusts, hopes, and always perseveres…it never fails.

After writing my previous blog, Lots of people started asking me different questions like,” Ikakasal ka na ba? (Are you getting married) ” What inspired me to write these blogs? (You have to know this was 3 years ago, but now I so glad to say we’re getting there!). Do you think you have the right to write about it even if you’re not yet married?

on Part 1, we saw how Love that’s for REEL looks like, The World’s prescription of Love. Now I want to share to you another model. Let use share to you what I believe to be the 4 kinds of Love;
1. Eros
– is what we call Erotic love. refers to “intimate love” or romantic love.

It is present in couples in a relationship, the lover and the beloved who are in boyfriend-girlfriend , fiancé-fiancée (must have guidelines) and husband-wife relationship. this is what what God longs for all of us to have.

Just like us God doesn’t want us to be with someone whom we are not attracted with. whom we don’t like and see ourselves growing old with the other person. This kind of love can be very powerful that “any mountains can be climb, anything can be done” out of this kind of love. This is a gift from God which every couple will fight for, for the rest of their lives.

This is where emotional and physical attractions are so much involved and must be backed up by Commitments. always remember, Love is a choice, a decision and a commitment . . .  not just a feeling and all emotions. Otherwise this can be deadly and poisonous if expressed prematurely, wrong person, wrong time. you may see “Fight for purity“. For couple who are not yet married (like us) Let’s not get involve physically until the right time. God’s timing is good, pleasing and perfect. (Rom 12:2)
2. Phileo

– the next ingredient is True friendship, this is where understanding, and intimacy partners share, being best friends, that’s where time, and walks and communication and sharing hearts is present. Brotherhood ,sisterhood (bff) bestfriend-kind-of-love.

This kind of love from friendships  are based on pure delight in the company of other people. People who drink together or share a hobby may have such friendships. Where both friends enjoy each other’s characters.

Mr. Webster puts like like this “As long as both friends keep similar characters, the relationship will endure since the motive behind it is care for the friend. This is the highest level of philia, and in modern English might be called true friendship.”

In my own opinion, You can have all the “Eros love” in the world and both of you are truly madly deeply “in-love” with each other but if you two where not friends, that relationship is still superficial and it can’t last. all the more when wrinkles , “ugly spots” , weaknesses and problems arise couple need to be friends who will be partners and work like a team and friends who will help, support, serve prioritize and understanding each other.

3. Storge

Family love – this kind of love is not mentioned but has been described and demonstrated in the bible. its is the love we give and the love we receive in our family. Parent to child/ren. Father or mother-to-a-child kind of love.

4. Agape

– and last and most importantly Agape Love.  The love of God or Christ for mankind.

it refers to the fatherly love of God for humans, as well as the human reciprocal love for God; the term necessarily extends to the love of one’s fellow man. Many have thought that this word represents divine, unconditional, self-sacrificing, active, volitional, and thoughtful Love.

We know God is the source of this love. Here we ourselves to be God’s conduit, channel of love towards one another. God’s amazing love can be seen, manifested and experienced through each others’ life and desire to unconditionally love. It’s the idea of being brother and sister in Christ, loving one another radically, That’s giving the other person what they need the most when they deserve it the least.

Agape love is doing what you choose is right (in light of God’s love) because you care, not because of what you feel. Partners always encourage each other to come to God first and foremost. This is why God has to be in the center of every relationship (Ecc 4:12)

I think by this time, you know what’s on my mind,  Yes you got it right. God prescription of Love;

Eros + Phileo + Storge = Agape Love

Agape love surpasses everything. Agape love in and through our lives.

Agape is Real Love

I believe all three needs to be nourished, If we want to have a long, lasting relationship (even for singles we need to know about this and be equipped for the the future) all three must be present.
If you we’re saying it’s hard, difficult and impossible. My response to you would be a big Yes. No one can do it in their marriage and relationship. Because this is something unattainable by human efforts but I believe this is what God wants for us. left to ourselves you cannot do it, even the two of you cannot do it. that’s why we need God to be in the center of our relationship. Not by might nor by our own works but by His Amazing Grace (Eph 2:6-8), His great and unconditional love that is already made available for us.
We want to encourage you to invite God and make Him the center, our priority, source of all love and affection. Once He becomes the source, we will never ran out of love to give. you may want to see my other blog “In love forever”
If you like this post, please don’t hesitate to share, tweet, comment or subscribe to  our blog posts. We hope to hear from you too. Thanks a lot and God bless you!
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Comments on: "Love for Real or Reel? “Quest for the Real Love” (part 2 of 2)" (4)

  1. Janica said:

    Galing! Thanks pastor christian! 🙂

  2. Very well said. Thanks and God Bless.

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